When your parents get divorced and marry again, the relationships with their new partners and kids may be complicated. A Reddit user found himself in an uneasy situation when his mom posed an ultimate to choose between his cat and stepbrother.
The author shared his story online.
As a 16-year-old male, I reside with my father. My mother lives with her new spouse and my 13-year-old stepbrother, whom I have met only once at their wedding. Her husband prefers that I don’t visit their home due to concerns about my father discovering their address and potentially seeking to rekindle his relationship with my mother. Consequently, she visits me instead.
She expressed a desire for me to spend time with my stepbrother. However, he has a severe allergy to cats, which presents a challenge as I own a cat. My mother suggested rehoming my cat to facilitate these visits. I firmly declined, prioritizing my bond with my pet over the potential relationship with my stepbrother. This decision led to a disagreement, with my mother feeling that I disregarded her emotions in making this choice.
Online users came to defend the author’s choice.
You don’t know him and you’re not required to get to know him. If it was so important to her, she would’ve introduced him prior to her getting married. Keep your cat. Your mom and her controlling husband and his kid can kick rocks. Altruistic_Isopod_11 / RedditWho would marry someone who won’t allow your minor child to come visit? She could take both of you out to dinner, bowling, something. Keep your cat. Jazzy_Bee / RedditWhy should you get rid of your cat? It’s your mother’s partner who’s saying you can’t visit your stepbrother’s house. That seems to be down to his insecurities. Your mother should be addressing that, not pandering to him. Surely she can arrange for you & your stepbrother to meet somewhere other than your respective homes? Apart-Ad-6518 / Reddit
Later he posted an update to the situation with his mother.
I initiated a conversation with my mother to discuss the situation. I suggested that if her husband is concerned about my father learning their address, she could simply pick me up herself, thereby keeping their location confidential. This question seemed to catch her off guard, and her response only complicated matters further.
She confessed that the issue of my father’s potential jealousy was a fabrication to conceal the actual reason her husband did not want me in their home. She revealed that her brief, half-hour monthly visits were not a restriction set by her husband, but a choice she made to avoid my potential inquiries about their family dynamics. She thought it less hurtful for me to believe the issue stemmed from adult jealousy rather than her husband’s mistrust of me.
I questioned whether she had defended my character against these accusations. Her silence was telling. I expressed my profound disappointment, finding it more objectionable than her previous suggestion of rehoming my cat to accommodate a virtual stranger, my stepbrother. I told her she should be ashamed for not standing up for me. In response, she apologized and said she would not bother me again. Thus, we agreed to cease further contact and interactions.
Many started to question the mom’s behaviour even more.
Wait. Your mother spends next to no time with you and wants to add your stepbrother into the mix? The issue isn’t that you love your cat who you spend time with, it’s that your mother hasn’t made you a priority and is trying to pressure you to further dilute the little time you have together. I’m sorry. Your mom is letting you down. Rhuthbarb / RedditYour mother is the one who needs to work out her issues with her clingy, jealous husband. His insecurities shouldn’t result in your having to get rid of a beloved pet. And his “logic” is baffling. He’s jealous of your father and the possibility of your mother getting back together with him, so his solution is to send your mother over to your father’s house to visit you? Something isn’t right there. Ajstross / RedditThe fact that she married a man who made her choose between her child and him is pathetic that she allows her husband to control the fact of her seeing her own child and if he felt so concerned, he could’ve put them in a safe and the fact that she isn’t even coming around that much goes to show she’s choosing her new family over you. I wouldn’t associate with your mother again, she is lying to you. She’s only making time for you when it’s convenient. Consistent-Ad3191 / Reddit
The relationship between parents and children can be complex, especially when it involves feelings of obligation or dealing with toxic behavior. Another user shared a story where they had to impose strict household rules because of their mom’s actions.
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