Under normal circumstances, when presenting the results of a fantasy mock draft, we like to discuss general themes and trends while perhaps also spotlighting a small number of specific players. Ideally, we’d examine the team-building strategies employed by each manager, reviewing successes and shortcomings. A thoughtful mock should result in a useful, instructive piece of comparative analysis.
But, occasionally, someone in the mock just gets into some wild [expletive] and it’s pointless to talk about anything else.
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If you’re at all familiar with the Yahoo fantasy squad, then you can probably guess which one of us got dangerously weird in this week’s 10-team, 10-round baseball mock.
Naturally, it was Dalton Del Don — professional contrarian and unrivaled master of the scorching hot take.
I’ve seen Dalton make a few scandalous draft choices over the years, but, in this week’s mock, he unlocked a new and previously unimagined level of recklessness and possibility. This draft was his manifesto. His Guernica. His Starry Night. His “Ulysses.”
I’m telling you, Dalton just mock-drafted a team that will reframe the way you experience the world in your remaining days. This is some legit red pill-type stuff. It is both a triumph and a horror.
Let’s take a journey …
Round 1, Pick 2 – Spencer Strider
Round 2, Pick 19 – Aaron Judge
Round 3, Pick 22 – Elly De La Cruz
Round 4, Pick 39 – Tyler Glasnow
Round 5, Pick 42 – Oneil Cruz
OK, we should really pause here so you can reorient yourself and catch your breath.
It’s simply a stunning opening sequence. Del Don is, of course, a notorious pitching fetishist, so Strider with the second overall pick didn’t necessarily stun the room; it’s just Dalton staying on-trend with the NFBC crowd.
My official position on the first round — and certainly the first half of the first round — is that you should select one of our game’s few true five-category hitters if possible. By the time we reach the back end of the second round, those dudes are all gone. I’m not burning my top pick on a 180-inning arm as we’ve discussed before, but, if you are inclined to do such a thing, Strider would be the guy. Fine.
Judge is clearly a nice choice at 19 — he’d never fall so far if he wasn’t still ambiguously injured — and Glasnow in the fourth is basically Dalton’s signature move. We all saw it coming. Glasnow is coming off a career-best 120 innings, plus he has a terrific K-rate and sensational hair. Dalton can’t pass up that unique combination of fragility, talent and luxurious tresses. Again: fine.
Which brings us at last to the most audacious and irresponsible fantasy pairing any of us have yet seen: Elly and Oneil.
These two players are essentially the Spider-Man pointing meme, each possessing the same combination of exceedingly rare traits. Elly and Oneil are both poor hitters in the traditional sense — De La Cruz slashed an abysmal .191/.272/.355 after the break last season — but both players are already exit velocity and sprint speed legends. As toolsy and exciting as it gets.
One of the strongest industry arguments against drafting Elly in the third round is that Oneil is so consistently available several rounds later. In our mock, Dalton simply went and … took. them. BOTH.
I mean …
…
Obviously, this was a terrible idea, but you have to respect the total rejection of draft orthodoxy.
It is not at all clear that either Elly or Oneil will make a significant leap in the season ahead, although both have had stellar springs. Drafting one of these guys probably means your fantasy team won’t finish anywhere near the top in batting average; drafting both means you have punted the category in the most extreme way imaginable. Batting average would be a hopelessly lost cause.
Absolutely remarkable work by Del Don. As bold a statement as has ever been made in a mock. A radical upending of fantasy dogma.
Here’s how Dalton crash-landed his mock roster:
Round 6, Pick 59 – Josh Hader
Round 7, Pick 62 – Grayson Rodriguez
Round 8, Pick 79 – William Contreras
Round 9, Pick 82 – Triston Casas
Round 10, Pick 99 – Teoscar Hernández
So, in his first seven picks, Dalton came away with Aaron Judge, four pitchers and two guys who will probably combine to hit .205. Scandalous. But also inspired and revolutionary.
Scott Pianowski referred to Dalton’s team as a “clown car” in our mock chat, which feels somewhat disrespectful to clowns. I genuinely hate Dalton’s draft and yet I love that it happened.
[2024 Fantasy Baseball Draft Rankings: C | 1B | 2B | SS | 3B | OF | SP | RP]
If for some reason you clicked on this story looking for a usable fantasy top-100 mock draft and not a Del Don takedown, these were the full round-by-round results:
Round 1
Ronald Acuña Jr. – Dalton Del Don, Team 1
Spencer Strider – Dalton Del Don, Team 2
Bobby Witt Jr. – Scott Pianowski, Team 1
Mookie Betts – Scott Pianowski, Team 2
Julio Rodríguez – Fred Zinkie, Team 1
Corbin Carroll – Fred Zinkie, Team 2
Freddie Freeman – Jorge Martin, Team 1
Shohei Ohtani – Jorge Martin, Team 2
Kyle Tucker – Andy Behrens, Team 1
Juan Soto – Andy Behrens, Team 2
Round 2
Fernando Tatís Jr. – Behrens, Team 2
Trea Turner – Behrens, Team 1
José Ramírez – Martin, Team 2
Austin Riley – Martin, Team 1
Corbin Burnes – Zinkie, Team 2
Zack Wheeler – Zinkie, Team 1
Matt Olson – Pianowski, Team 2
Yordan Álvarez – Pianowski, Team 1
Aaron Judge – Del Don, Team 2
Bryce Harper – Del Don, Team 1
Round 3
Rafael Devers – Del Don, Team 1
Elly De La Cruz – Del Don, Team 2
Marcus Semien – Pianowski, Team 1
Michael Harris II – Pianowski, Team 2
Pete Alonso – Zinkie, Team 1
Luis Robert Jr. – Zinkie, Team 2
Francisco Lindor – Martin, Team 1
Gunnar Henderson – Martin, Team 2
Ozzie Albies – Behrens, Team 1
Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – Behrens, Team 2
Round 4
C.J. Abrams – Behrens, Team 2
Yoshinobu Yamamoto – Behrens, Team 1
Luis Castillo – Martin, Team 2
Randy Arozarena – Martin, Team 1
José Altuve – Zinkie, Team 2
Adolis García – Zinkie, Team 1
George Kirby – Pianowski, Team 2
Pablo López – Pianowski, Team 1
Tyler Glasnow – Del Don, Team 2
Corey Seager – Del Don, Team 1
Round 5
Bo Bichette – Del Don, Team 1
Oneil Cruz – Del Don, Team 2
Tarik Skubal – Pianowski, Team 1
Logan Webb – Pianowski, Team 2
Kevin Gausman – Zinkie, Team 1
Zac Gallen – Zinkie, Team 2
Max Fried – Martin, Team 1
Nolan Jones – Martin, Team 2
Edwin Diaz – Behrens, Team 1
Blake Snell – Behrens, Team 2
Round 6
Manny Machado – Behrens, Team 2
Cody Bellinger – Behrens, Team 1
Mike Trout – Martin, Team 2
Christian Yelich – Martin, Team 1
Royce Lewis – Zinkie, Team 2
Nico Hoerner – Zinkie, Team 1
Jazz Chisholm Jr. – Pianowski, Team 2
Framber Valdez – Pianowski, Team 1
Josh Hader – Del Don, Team 2
Raisel Iglesias – Del Don, Team 1
Round 7
Camilo Doval – Del Don, Team 1
Grayson Rodriguez – Del Don, Team 2
Bryan Reynolds – Pianowski, Team 1
Alex Bregman – Pianowski, Team 2
Paul Goldschmidt – Zinkie, Team 1
Kyle Schwarber – Zinkie, Team 2
Will Smith, C – Martin, Team 1
Adley Rutschman – Martin, Team 2
J.T. Realmuto – Behrens, Team 1
Jhoan Duran – Behrens, Team 2
Round 8
Aaron Nola – Behrens, Team 2
Wyatt Langford – Behrens, Team 1
Logan Gilbert – Martin, Team 2
Bobby Miller – Martin, Team 1
Emmanuel Clase – Zinkie, Team 2
Andres Muñoz – Zinkie, Team 1
Matt McLain, drafted hours before the recent not-great reports about his shoulder – Pianowski, Team 2
Cole Ragans – Pianowski, Team 1
William Contreras – Del Don, Team 2
Gleyber Torres – Del Don, Team 1
Round 9
Freddy Peralta – Del Don, Team 1
Triston Casas – Del Don, Team 2
Christian Walker – Pianowski, Team 1
Xander Bogaerts – Pianowski, Team 2
Zach Eflin – Zinkie, Team 1
Alexis Diaz – Zinkie, Team 2
Ha-Seong Kim – Martin, Team 1
Spencer Steer – Martin, Team 2
Nolan Arenado – Behrens, Team 1
Nick Castellanos – Behrens, Team 2
Round 10
Andrés Giménez – Behrens, Team 2
Paul Sewald – Behrens, Team 1
Evan Carter – Martin, Team 2
Dansby Swanson – Martin, Team 1
Christian Encarnacion-Strand – Zinkie, Team 2
Ketel Marte – Zinkie, Team 1
Jordan Romano – Pianowski, Team 2
Justin Steele – Pianowski, Team 1
Teoscar Hernández – Del Don, Team 2
Chris Sale – Del Don, Team 1
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