Life’s a whole new ball game when you have a baby.
Taking the plunge into the world of nappies and sleepless nights isn’t for the faint-hearted – and it’s a given that your old life has to take a back seat. For some new parents, it means less time with friends or saying goodbye to hobbies because there’s just no time once a little one arrives.
But for one man, fatherhood has thrown a curveball in a way he didn’t anticipate – his wife has put a halt on their bedroom fun. Ever since they welcomed their first baby three months ago, they have barely been intimate.
The man opened up about his situation on Mumsnet, revealing: “Long story short, the birth went smoothly, she healed well and the baby is three months now. The first time we tried sex slowly went well so I assumed we were back to normal, [but] since this attempt, she hasn’t tried to give me any hint and I don’t want to go overboard with hints as it will make her feel pressured. The baby is next to her and she stays dressed the entire night, which is a clear sign that no play will happen.
“I am sexually frustrated. I do work full time and I try to help as much as possible when I get home to allow her to wash and relax, but it’s not helping. I have talked about it a bit but it’s a subject that may affect someone [negatively] at this stage so I have been careful to just mention it in a playful way, but still nothing…
“My partner’s sex drive has always been low and she even suggested early on that I was free to bring someone into the relationship sexually just to fulfil the missing part. I always found it off because I just take monogamy seriously.”
Thankfully, plenty of Mumsnetters were on hand to offer advice. They reminded the new dad that many women don’t feel up to having sex when their three months post-partum.
Commenters stressed being “patient” and supportive with his partner, as well as giving her the support she needs. One said: “Three months is nothing post-birth. Stop being so impatient.”
And someone else recommended: “You give it time and be understanding. You work as a team and raise this family you have made. You need to understand that your partner will feel different physically and mentally.”
So what do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
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