3 Ways to Make a Request That Doesn’t Feel Coercive

To get an authentic yes, give your employee room to say no.

May 22, 2024

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Research shows that people feel more pressured to agree to requests than we realize, frequently agreeing to do things they would rather not do, such as taking on burdensome, low-promotability work tasks. As a manager, what can you do to ensure that your employees aren’t taking things on because they feel like they have to, but because they actually want to? In this article, the authors share three research-backed suggestions for how to elicit a more voluntary “yes” when making a request: 1) Give people time to respond. 2) Ask them to respond over email. 3) Share an example of how to say “no.”

When staffing a project, asking your team to work overtime, or finding someone for a last-minute task to meet a deadline, it can sometimes feel like you need to get your employees to say “yes” at any cost. But what is that cost? When employees feel pressured or guilted into agreeing to a request they personally find disagreeable it can lead to feelings of regret, frustration, and resentment. An employee who begrudgingly agrees to a request in the moment may provide lower-quality assistance or back out of their commitment at a less convenient time.

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Rachel Schlund is an incoming Principal Researcher at the University of Chicago, Booth School of Business. She is currently finishing her PhD in organizational behavior at Cornell University. You can learn more about her research here.

Roseanna Sommers (JD/PhD) is an Assistant Professor of Law at the University of Michigan, where she directs the psychology and law studies lab. Her teaching and research interests revolve around the many ways in which the law misunderstands people and people misunderstand the law. You can learn more about her research on consent and related topics here.