DEAR ABBY: Co-worker weighs the wisdom of being a side piece

Published Jul 17, 2024 • Last updated 49 minutes ago • 3 minute read

A woman has fallen in love with her co-worker despite his lies. Photo by file photo /Getty Images

DEAR ABBY: I met this guy at work. He was everything I’m looking for in a guy. During a lunch walk, he told me about his breakup with his ex and how he moved out and bought a house. He lives with his son and his nephews and their family. The entire two months we dated were amazing. There may have been a couple of red flags my co-worker and friends noticed. He couldn’t message me often after work or on weekends, and he was always so busy with his kid we couldn’t go on a date. He told me his ex was not in the picture, which I thought was odd since his son is only 2.

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I don’t know why I decided to do some internet research on him, but I found out he actually is married and bought the house with that “ex.” When I confronted him about this, he insisted he had told me about it when we first started talking, which is not true. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, he says he’s getting back with her “for his son” but still wants me in the picture as his side piece. I fell in love with him, Abby, and he says he loves me, too. I don’t think it’s right to do this, but I don’t want to stop talking to him. Should I block him and move on or stick around since he still wants me? — SIDE PIECE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SIDE PIECE: Close your eyes, dig deep and see if you can feel around and locate a shred of your self-esteem. Why would you be content to be a “side piece” in this philanderer’s life? He doesn’t love you. I doubt he loves anyone but himself. Do yourself a giant favour: Quit listening to his sales pitch, block him and find someone who can give you the love you crave.

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DEAR ABBY: Last week my wife and I were at a local function. During intermission, a man walked up behind my wife and placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked up, shouted “George!”, jumped out of her chair and was all over him, fondling his face and head. I had to turn away, but our friends continued to watch as the two carried on. She claims it was not inappropriate behaviour and that I am just jealous. Is this really a married woman’s normal behaviour? — WOUNDED IN MISSOURI

DEAR WOUNDED: Bind your “wound” and let it go. While your wife’s reaction may have seemed over-the-top to you, if George is someone your wife cared about and hadn’t seen in many years, it wasn’t out of the realm of normality for her.