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Blending households with stepchildren can be a delicate balancing act, testing patience, love, and personal boundaries. For one man, the pressure reached a breaking point, leading to a radical solution.
In November 2022, my wife passed away, leaving me with three adult stepchildren. Despite being in their lives for over a decade, they’ve always been clear that I am not their parent. Their biological father has retired to the Philippines.
The stepchildren, aged 21, 22, and 25, faced the high cost of living in our city. We provided them with a place to live, charging no rent so they could save money. The youngest is still in school, while the other two are employed.
However, after their mother’s passing, they stopped contributing to household chores. I covered all the bills—power, water, Internet, and utilities—and even provided food for the youngest. Frustrated, I hired a cleaning lady to help manage the mess.
Finally, I decided to sell the house. Its value had skyrocketed since I purchased it, and I could retire comfortably in the Philippines. The sale happened swiftly, and I moved to my cabin. Each stepchild received $10,000, and I informed them of the sale. They weren’t oblivious; they’d seen the “For Sale” sign and attended open houses.
Now, they’re upset about losing their home. While they grew up there, they never treated it as more than a place to sleep. I believe their late mother would be disappointed by their behavior.
They pooled their money for an apartment but relying solely on my gift, they’ll face financial struggles within a year.
People stood on his side.
“Raise your hand if your parents gave you $10k when you moved out. No hands? You separated from leeches.” Oddjibberz / Reddit“They were disrespectful to you and your home, and you weren’t obligated to continue providing for them, especially after they became adults.” Xoxo_emmmaa / Reddit“You gave them nearly two years to start picking up after themselves and acting like they wanted to live there. They didn’t. If seeing for sale signs and open houses didn’t get them to realize that that’s not really on you. You also didn’t have to give them money to be on their own, but you did.
You’ve done enough, considering that they’re adults. It sounds like if they had been picking up after themselves, you probably wouldn’t have wanted to sell.” Liss78 / Reddit
“You’re right — their mom would be disgusted with how her children behaved in your home, in which they were, ultimately, guests. Enjoy your newfound freedom from entitled adults.” Current-Anybody9331 / Reddit“I sold my house to get rid of a freeloading, lazy brother, and my siblings blamed me for making him homeless. He was 59. Yet they wouldn’t take him in. Some people will take advantage of you rather than standing on their own two feet.” shockingRn / Reddit“These people are adults. They have made it clear that you are not their father, presumably meaning that you can not tell them what to do. Not only have they been living in your house rent-free, but they haven’t done their share of the housework, expecting you to do it or pay for it.
However, since you are indeed not their father, you don’t owe them anything. You were generous to let them live in your house for over a year, and very generous to give them money to start their independent life. Now they will have to take responsibility for their finances and housekeeping — or experience homelessness and realize that they indeed have to take responsibility.” DawnShakhar / Reddit
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