Former NRL star Boyd Cordner is a fit and muscular unit, but after injuring himself in an early SAS Australia challange the directing staff decided to bring him in for an interview to see where his head was at.
The Sydney Rooster retired from the NRL after a series of concussions left him with a number of symptoms he is still experiencing two years on.
WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE: NRL star opens up about devastating loss in SAS Australia.
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“Constant headaches, light-headedness sometimes, sensitivity to light and noise,” he explained in a to-camera interview.
“So, going into this course, if I am worried about one thing, it will be if my body can hold up.
“I think this is just going to be a real good test of myself and if I can get to the end.”
During a dangerous run and jump exercise into cold coastal waters, Cordner injured himself, walking back to shore clutching his pectoral muscle.
“Torn me pec,” he told the other competitors as he emerged from the water.
“When I jumped off the rope and swung off it, it just f****** pulled, eh,” he told camp medic Dr Dan, who confirmed he had indeed torn a muscle.
“If I had to quit or if I had to take that armband off, I’d definitely feel like I’d failed, for sure,” Cordner said as his future on the course hung in the balance.
Disappointed with his effort, the Directing Staff decided to bring him into the interview room, where they asked about his sporting career – which began at 16 – and what his childhood had been like.
Retired NRL player Boyd Cordner on SAS Australia. Credit: Seven
“I had a great childhood, but it didn’t start out great,” he admitted, beginning to tear up.
“I lost my mum to breast cancer when I was four years old,” he said, prompting a sympathetic look from DS Anthony “Staz” Stazicker.
“At that age, it’s sort of … I don’t have too many memories of her, which is probably the worst thing.
“When I was four, I’d run up to mum and jump on the bed when she wasn’t doing too well … it’s not the greatest memory, but it’s something that I’ll hold onto forever.
“It’s not until you get a bit older and you look back on your childhood and you think, as good as it was, how different would it be if she was there guiding me or just there to be a mum.”
Boyd Cordner gets a grilling from SAS Australia Directing Staff Ant Middleton and Anthony ‘Staz’ Stazicker. Credit: Seven
Stazicker then revealed he’d also lost his mum when he was young.
“I was 11. I was 11,” he said, to which Cordner replied: “I’m sorry, mate.”
“It was a difficult time, and to this day, I probably still haven’t processed that properly,” Stazicker added.
“I almost didn’t want to speak about losing my mum, it was just taboo – we just didn’t f****** speak about it.
“And still to this day don’t really speak about it.”
DS Anthony ‘Staz’ Stazicker on SAS Australia. Credit: Seven
“You’d change everything to go back and have mum back, but I’ve been very blessed to have the best, loving family that I could have asked for,” Cordner said in a separate to-camera interview.
The State of Origin player also talked about his difficult decision to retire from the sport he loved playing in 2021.
“I’ve had countless injuries, ever since I was a kid, then later in my career I went through a rough trot with concussion,” he explained.
“In the year before I retired, I had a string of about three (concussions) pretty close together and started to suffer some pretty bad headaches.”
‘The toughest time’
Cordner said the headaches were so bad some days he would “break down crying”.
At the time he was the NRL captain of his club, state and country, and constantly in the glare of the media.
“It was probably the toughest time mentally that I had to go through,” he said.
“At the end of the day it was my decision (to retire).
“I didn’t know what the next head knock would bring.”
A tearful Boyd Cordner announcing his retirement from Rugby League on June 14, 2021 in Sydney. Credit: Mark Evans/Getty Images
Asked why he had decided to go on SAS Australia, Cordner said he wanted to test himself again, physically and mentally.
“Being removed from that competitive arena (since retiring), I haven’t had anything to work towards,” he explained.
“I thought this was a really good opportunity to scratch that itch and give it a red-hot crack.”
“Well, keep going,” Ant Middleton said.
“Just keep going until you can’t go anymore.”
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