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Hey, Why Tsammani also laughs!

June 18, 2023
in Business
Hey, Why Tsammani also laughs!
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Judges scare me with their looks especially when they put on ceremonial garb. As a kid, my impression was that whenever a judge wore red to the court room, he was bound to condemn someone to death. I never saw a smiling judge. Justice Haruna Tsammani is different.

Justices Chukwudifu Oputa, Emmanuel Araka, Gabriel Orjiako, they were not wicked but looked serious. Justice Chuba Ikpeazu could tell me stories, Ibrahim Sulu – Gambari and Charles Granville could talk soccer. That did not change the stern looks.….CONTINUE READING

Tsammani heads the Presidential Elections Petitions Tribunal. Other members are Justices Stephen Adah, Misitura Yusuf – Bolaji, Mohammed Abba Bello and Moses Ugo. When I saw their photographs, I was not disappointed. The same tough looks.

Somehow, I have been following proceedings at the Tribunal. My fear was that we would be in for a judicial war to determine who really won the 2023 presidential elections. Tempers are bound to rise. The Labour Party ( LP) flag bearer, Peter Obi and running mate, Yusuf Datti Baba-Ahmed have so far, maintained their calm, even in court.

Tsammani is in full control and I guess, he went for a special course in Humour from Chief Zebrudaya’s University of ‘Lawgic’. The judge has been able to ignite the room with laughter, using every available opportunity to douse tension.

Saturday Monsigie is of the All Progressives Congress ( APC ) Legal department. Tsammani took a shot. “ Your name is Saturday but today is Tuesday”, he told the lawyer. Then when Monsigie was off duty, the judge asked “ Where is Saturday, he only comes on Saturdays?

The LP lawyers have their big files and are ready to spend time pushing their case. At a point, Tsammani had to appeal to Paul Ananaba, SAN, to remember that even judges deserve some rest after a busy day.

“ Please we are tired ooo.” Tsammani said. Ananaba replied that Awa Kalu, another lawyer for LP who celebrated his 70th birthday on Saturday was not tired. “ I am on the sixth floor and I’m already tired, I am sure he ( Kalu ) is tired. See Kemi Pinheiro ( lawyer for INEC) is tired. Pity us,” the judge pleaded.

Tsammani lightened some issues and did not spare the rod when necessary. He urged lawyers to have lunch on one of the lawyers representing President Bola Tinubu. ‘’ You should all follow Olanipekun, let him buy you lunch today. But those coming for the afternoon case, don’t eat pounded yam so that you don’t come and be sleeping in my courtroom.”

Badly dressed lawyers got a dressing down. “You people are not dressed properly. See your hair looking like Ezemmuo ( Igbo for king of ghosts). How will a lawyer be chewing gum? It’s a bad habit. You are just chewing gum in court, nya nya nya….CONTINUE READING

There was so much to cool temper, from this Tribunal head. When one of the APC lawyers asked his LP counterpart if a witness was their star witness, Tsammani had a quick answer. ‘’No, he is their moon witness”, adding, “ you are passing mic ( microphone) to Mike”.

In Kaduna, there is Jaba. Tsammani wanted to be sure if he saw Jaba or Japa. Benbella Anachebe clarified. “ It’s not Japa, we don’t want to Japa. Japa is when you are leaving the country and we like our country.”

Justice Ugo is the youngest of the judges. He applied respect and humour at the same time. When Emeka Opoko, SAN, one of the lawyers for LP was having slight difficulty in pronouncing Adamawa written as Ahdamamawan, Ugo helped ‘Oga Emeka’ out.

Then played with Oga’s name. “ You carried documents like you are going to Okoko Market”.

Olanipekun delved into football when it appeared Jibrin Okutepa was taking longer time than permitted. “ His 10 minutes are over”, Olanipekun told the Tribunal. Okutepa fired back, “even in football, there is injury time”.

There were talks about Chelsea and Arsenal. Unfortunately, one of the lawyers in the LP team, Onyechi Ikpeazu, was not in court. He would have lectured them on soccer. His father, Justice Ikpeazu, was NFA chairman and also owned Ikpeazu Redountables of Onitsha that groomed Sebastine Brodericks and Paul Hamilton.

Ikpeazu was so excited when his team played in the semi finals of the 1959 Challenge Cup, with Coach Dan Anyiam in charge. Each player got a bicycle for doing Onitsha proud. Their conquerors, Ibadan Lions, advanced to win the Cup.

There was so much to laugh about which served to bring down the blood pressure of many inside the court room. In trying to mention Zuma Rock, one lawyer called it Zuba Rock. Zuma is the rock in the Federal Capital Territory that has myth woven around it. Zuba is a big motor park in Abuja. Aso Rock also got some attention.

Obi was not spared the humour. As he sat down quietly, the Clerk referred to him as Peter Gringory Obi. The court Clerk was unable to pronounce Gregory, Obi’s middle name. He apparently came in from Nicaragua where Americans are tagged ‘ Gringos’.

Obi and Datti are following proceedings religiously. In their absence, LP chieftains do not go to sleep. Akin Osuntokun, Oseloka Obaze, Joe Keshi and Dudu Manuga have been regulars, watching Livy Uzoukwu and his team of lawyers present their case.

Nigerians believe justice will be served. And the banters and laughter in court do not suggest that there is no serious business going on. The good thing is that there is no war inside Justice Tsammani’s courtroom.….CONTINUE READING

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