Throughout grade school, my daughter was one of the top students in her class. During a class in the first semester of her freshman year of high school, her teacher asked her to set goals. My daughter decided that being a valedictorian would be a good goal to set. Ever since then, she’s been pursuing that goal with complete focus.
Now that she’s nearing the end of her junior year, she is academically at the top of her class. But neither of us is sure her pursuit of being a valedictorian is worth it.
Trying to be a valedictorian is stressful
Unsurprisingly, the path to being a valedictorian is filled with stress. In addition to the usual worries about taking tests, my daughter stresses over variables out of her control, such as doing extra work to get a good grade when she is assigned group projects with students who blow off the assignment.
Even calling in sick is a major concern because she’s taking a challenging schedule of advanced courses and fears falling behind. There were classes she wanted to take because they looked fun, but felt she couldn’t because they weren’t weighted and would ruin her grade point average.
Last year, my daughter doubled up on math courses, taking Algebra 2 and Geometry in the same year. She was incredibly nervous about it but knew if she did well in both classes, it would boost her grade point average, keeping her No. 1.
She got high A’s in both courses, which taught her a valuable lesson: She shouldn’t talk herself out of accepting a challenge just because she finds it intimidating.
But she doesn’t feel like she’s missed out on other things
One concern my daughter and I shared when she decided to become a valedictorian is that it shouldn’t stop her from having a complete high-school experience. I didn’t want being No. 1 in her class to become her only identity. And she didn’t want that for herself, either.
She joined three sports in high school, as well as a number of clubs and organizations. She does volunteer hours for community participation and has a seasonal job, too.
We both feel she hasn’t let her studying time hold her back in any way. She’s been to all the high-school dances, has a boyfriend, and has good friends.
Being a valedictorian won’t likely open any doors for her, though
If a student is interested in attending an Ivy League college, being a valedictorian may matter or give them an edge. But my daughter wants to attend the same college my son does. He was No. 7 in his class and received the top merit scholarship at his college. The college doesn’t offer any additional scholarships for being a valedictorian, and honestly, I don’t think many colleges care whether a prospective student was No. 1 in their class or second or third.
My son teases my daughter about how they’ll have the same scholarship offers even though she worked much harder in high school than he did.
We’re not sure it was worth the effort she put in, but we have no regrets
Just the other day, I asked my daughter if she thought trying to be a valedictorian was worth the effort, and she said she wasn’t sure — and I completely agreed.
Sure, she’ll give a brief speech at her graduation, but she doesn’t love public speaking and gets embarrassed in the limelight, so that doesn’t feel like a reward to her.
There were fun moments that we’ll always treasure, though. She and I will have great memories of all the nights I would quiz her for upcoming tests. While sometimes those nights were stressful, we always found a lot to laugh about.
We don’t regret the effort, though, because there will be some long-term benefits.
When she heads off to college, she will be armed with the great study habits and amazing organizational skills she developed in high school. Plus, she will have gained confidence from setting and completing a difficult goal, and that’s a feeling she’ll carry with her for the rest of her life.
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