October 09, 2023
How do you recover from a failure? What’s it really like—and what does it take—to serve on a board? Do our career aspirations influence our decision, if and when we marry somebody, to keep or change our last name? How does going through a divorce affect us at work, and for how long? If we have a disability, how can we get the understanding and assistive technology we need to do our job?
These questions are at the heart of some of the conversations the Amys are having this season with women who’ve been there. As always, we’ll be bringing you expertise, stories, and advice.
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AMY BERNSTEIN: Amy G, our show’s back and you’re back from your three-month sabbatical.
AMY GALLO: That’s right. After three years of writing and promoting my last book, I needed to mark the end of that exhausting chapter. So no work, no social media, no to-do list for three months. It was very restful. And I have to say, I also realized modern life is really busy even when you take out all of those things.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah.
AMY GALLO: So, I’d like to say I was sitting in lotus yoga pose for three months, but I was running around.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah, but do you feel refreshed and restored?
AMY GALLO: Refreshed is maybe too strong. I do feel like things became clearer, like what mattered became clear, how I wanted to spend my time, and I just feel more excited to tackle things. I was at the point where anything came in my inbox or across my desk, my metaphorical desk, and I was like, no. And now I’m feeling like, oh yeah, that’ll be fun.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Fall for me is sort of like a rebirth season and I’m feeling ready and rested and let’s do this thing.
AMY GALLO: Well, that’s good because we have a ninth season coming out.
AMY BERNSTEIN: On Monday, October 16th. So, let’s go through the lineup a little bit. We just recorded an episode where we revisit our past professional failures. That was fun.
AMY GALLO: Well, Amanda, our producer, asked us to think about failures in advance of that recording, which it’s a very humbling task.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Oh my gosh. Did you toy with the question of should I really talk about my failures or should I have a faux failure? I got a story in late last week.
AMY GALLO: What’s your greatest weakness is actually my greatest strength.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah.
AMY GALLO: Yeah. No. And I did end up talking about a failure I had not planned, which was very recent, and I have to say, made my stomach turn a little bit.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah, they always do. They’re really cringey. But I enjoyed that conversation a lot.
AMY GALLO: Yeah, me too. And I hope it’ll encourage our listeners to revisit their own failures, whether they’re real or perceived, and put them into perspective.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Right. Because failure is part of any job and learning to take responsibility, but not more responsibility than you ought to, not more than your fair share is really important.
AMY GALLO: Yeah.
AMY BERNSTEIN: And then moving on. The most important thing.
AMY GALLO: Yes, moving on. Which clearly we are still doing. I’m excited to listen to the conversations you had with those two experts on adult ADHD. I haven’t heard them yet, but you mentioned how enlightening they were.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Well, first of all, I learned that ADHD is a serious problem.
KRISTEN CARDER: Someone first needs to have a very robust understanding of what it means to have ADHD. If I just think, Oh, I just struggle to focus, then I’m not going to understand that it actually affects every single aspect of every single minute of my life.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Did you know that?
AMY GALLO: I didn’t. I really didn’t.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah, and it shows up in a variety of ways that sounded painfully familiar to me.
KATHLEEN NADEAU: We only have so much bandwidth, and I have worked with women who have told me no one at work would ever guess I had ADHD, but because it’s so exhausting for me to keep all that organized, the rest of my life is in chaos.
AMY BERNSTEIN: So, we will definitely talk about that.
AMY GALLO: Yeah.
AMY BERNSTEIN: And you spoke with a couple of disability advocates, Amy.
AMY GALLO: Oh, they were fantastic. That conversation for me so far in this season has just been one of the most eye-opening in terms of understanding what it’s like to navigate a workplace, what accommodations you need when you’re living with a disability, and whether that disability is apparent, people can see it because you’re perhaps in a wheelchair or non-apparent and struggling with ADHD or even autism.
NICOLE BETTE: Especially when it comes to behavioral things, people can be very judgmental. I have found a lot more willingness to accommodate my physical disabilities than my neurodivergence.
AMY BERNSTEIN: I’m really looking forward to that conversation.
AMY GALLO: Oh, and I know we have a ton of perspectives and advice to share from women who’ve served on boards.
AMBER HALL: When I look back, I could have never imagined that I would be providing input in this way. Four years ago, I was a student in that program and now I’m contributing to the future of this program.
ANNA MANNING: And if you’re worrying that you’re not an expert in that particular field or in that particular area, consider that outside ignorance is a good thing to really test what’s happening and why, and whether that’s the best way of doing things.
ADELLE WAPNICK: I didn’t realize the sense of satisfaction doing something like this would give me – it was only once I entered into it. And the deep sense of purpose and meaning one gets from contributing to things where you stretch yourself and you’re not so sure, but you go there and you do it anyway.
AMY BERNSTEIN: And that’s only a sample of the collective wisdom that you’ll hear. For anyone who’s never considered joining a board or assume they weren’t qualified, this episode’s going to change your thinking.
AMY GALLO: And then we’ve got one episode that will be an Ask the Amys, one of my favorite episodes we do where you tell us – you listeners, not Amy B – about your interpersonal managerial career problem. We think it over and then give you our take. If you want our advice on something you’re struggling with right now, email womenatwork@hbr.org to contribute.
AMY BERNSTEIN: Again, season nine starts Monday, October 16th. More from us then.
AMY GALLO: And don’t forget to follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts.
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