Do you feel obliged to silently endure stress and pressure at work? Are you terrified to voice your concerns through fear of being deemed not cut out for the role? Do you take on extra work even though you physically do not have enough hours in the day? Welcome to the world of toxic resilience, the dangerous workplace trend that harms our mental health.
Remember toxic positivity, the pressure to remain positive in any eventuality? This is 2023’s iteration and is basically the constant expectation placed on individuals to bounce back, adapt, and persist in the face of adversity regardless of the toll it takes on their mental and emotional well-being.
“Toxic resilience is when we let our personal needs come second for the sake of just keeping going for the business,” says Hattie Roche, co-managing director and strategy chief at UK employee experience agency This Is Home, based in Bristol, England.
It seems that resilience is becoming a bit of a dirty word. We’ve all talked about the need for resilience at work and, frankly, in life. We all want to feel well enough to take what comes and deal with it positively. But what does that look like when the shape and experience of work is constantly changing? Work is experiencing unprecedented change and evolution, and for many, it feels tough. When does resilience tip into toxic?
“Constantly being expected to exhibit resilience without the opportunity to express vulnerability can be detrimental to individuals’ mental health and overall life happiness,” says life coach Tara Holley of The Life Designer. “The pressure to suppress one’s emotions and put up a front can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from oneself and others. This harmful cycle thrives on the misconception that vulnerability and authenticity are synonymous with weakness or incompetence.”
And it seems that toxic resilience is rife in the workplace; the Office for National Statistics in the UK recently found that staff absences from work due to poor mental health have hit a record high. Research by Rethinkly shows that almost 1 in 10 employees feel their most toxic relationship is with their manager and many others take time off because of it.
“Being overflexible or compromising your personal well-being in order to meet a deadline or accomplish a task at work not only creates a culture of poor boundaries, but it can put the employee at risk of burning out,” says Andrew Jackson, CEO and cofounder of Rethinkly, which provides companies with software-based coaching and training. “Constantly striving for higher or unattainable goals, or putting up with a bad boss or a demoralizing role, can all have downsides for our well-being too.”
Sound horribly familiar? Are you on the verge of entering another workplace trend, resenteeism, in which you become so unhappy in a job that you become completely unsubtle about it? Tara Holley shares her top tips for beating toxic resilience in the workplace to save your sanity.
Awareness and self-reflection
Start by examining your own thoughts and biases surrounding vulnerability. Do you perceive being vulnerable as a sign of weakness, or do you recognize it as a strength of emotional intelligence? Reflect on the impact this mindset has on your own mental health and that of others. By cultivating awareness, we can challenge outdated notions and create space for authentic expression.
Authenticity
Authenticity is essential for personal well-being and alignment. It is crucial to foster a work culture that encourages open communication and provides a safe space for employees to express concerns, challenges, and even failures. By normalizing vulnerability, we can cultivate trust and psychological safety, allowing individuals to thrive and contribute authentically.
Set boundaries
In the pursuit of productivity, it is easy to neglect personal well-being and work-life balance. Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care is vital to ensure that individuals have the energy and resilience needed to face challenges effectively. Remember, valuing well-being is just as important as valuing productivity.
Growth mindset
Developing a growth mindset is crucial both within the workplace and in personal life. Seek opportunities to develop the skills needed to navigate challenging situations and to build resilience effectively. There are abundant resources such as books, programs, and podcasts that can support your growth in this area.
It’s okay to not be okay
Encourage a culture where seeking support is not only accepted but encouraged. This includes both professional and personal support such as therapy, mentoring, or coaching for work-life balance and overall well-being. Recognize that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
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