Bill Maher Can’t Believe Trump’s Good Luck: ‘His Whole Life Is a String of You Gotta Be F–ing Kidding’

Bill Maher devoted this week’s “New Rules” segment on “Real Time” to the topic of the failed assassination attempted against Donald Trump. Not the attempt itself, but the “magical thinking” among MAGA faithful, prompting Maher to observe, “there’s nothing on earth, not even an assassination attempt, that can’t be made just a little worse by adding religion.”

And as part of debunking it, Maher bitterly observed that the failed assassination attempt is just one of dozens of examples of Trump’s unlikely good fortune. “He’s the single luckiest motherf—er who ever lived. His whole life is a string of You Gotta Be F—ing Kidding.”

You can watch the whole thing here:

Kicking off the rant, Maher ran down several examples of the religious exclamations about Trump from various right wing figures — pausing at one point to mockingly note that Steve Scalise, who claimed “the hand of God” protected Trump, “was also shot, but God was having an off day.” This being a reference to the mass shooting Scalise survived in 2017.

“Donald Trump, even if you like him, is powerful enough as a past president, a likely future president, and to be perfectly frank, a cult leader. America doesn’t need a demigod,” Maher declared. “From the pharaohs to Julius Caesar to Hirohito, many cultures have tried it, the earthly being who is simultaneously divine, or at least godish, and it never turns out well. And look, I’m not anti religion. Oh, wait, I’m very anti religion.”

Maher played some clips from his movie “Religulous” to remind people of this, and then returned to the commentary about how dangerous religous awe of political leaders can be.

“Trump didn’t survive the attempt on his life because of divine intervention. He survived because of virgin couldn’t hit the fattest president since Taft,” Maher quipped. “And again, make no mistake, I’m glad he couldn’t, but Trump is alive because he’s the single luckiest motherf—er who ever lived. His whole life is a string of You Gotta Be F—ing Kidding.”

Maher then noted other examples of Trump’s good luck: Judge Alieen Cannon throwing out Trump’s classified documents case on utterly indefensible grounds; how Trump inherited hundreds of millions from his father, lost it, “and used the write off to never pay taxes again”; Being “somehow stronger than ever at 78 meanwhile, Richard Simmons dead at 76”; and having the Joe Biden as his opponent.

“Look, I fervently hope that nobody ever shoots a Trump or any candidate, but if you have to have someone do it, it’s kind of lucky to have it be the world’s biggest loser. And it all just makes religious minded people see Trump as something preter-human now, when, in reality, he puts his pants on one leg at a time after sex with a porn star,” Maher went on.

“You want to vote for him, fine, but don’t pray to him. He’s already all in on being God. Like he said this week, the doctor at the hospital called it a ‘miracle. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be dead.’ Yeah. So is Dick Cheney, but karma isn’t cooperating, and karma isn’t a thing,” Maher concluded.

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