Kardashians & Jenners Loving on Each Other (for Valentine’s Day)
You can buy yourself flowers. You can hold your own hand. You can love yourself enough to just say “no” to Valentine’s Day.
If you are already so over the cheesy decorations, heart-shaped treats and endless stream of Instagram captions about love, welcome to the very first meeting of the Anti-V-Day club. Listen, we want everyone to love what they love—especially if it’s love!—but we also want people to know it’s okay to just not want to deal with the expectations of what is considered the most romantic day of the year. Which is why we’ve curated the ultimate guide to the movies, TV shows, music and podcasts to spend time with this week.
Why battle it out for a reservation at an overrated restaurant when you can make an imprint on your couch binge-watching the zombie-infested hit series The Last of Us? And we’ll take Pamela Anderson’s poetry-filled memoir over an overpriced card. And we have no time for cheap red wine when we can listen to Lemonade for the 1,000th time.
So, without further ado, check out our list of empowering anthems, revenge-filled movies and true crime podcasts that will have you swiping left on dating forever:
Parkwood, Columbia
Lemonade
When life had the sheer audacity to give Beyoncé lemons—in this case her husband Jay-Z’s infidelity—she took them and made a generation-defining album that was somehow relatable and aspirational and kicked off cultural-shifting conversations about race, feminism and the music industry as a whole. All hail Queen Bey.
Columbia
“Flowers”
Siri, please play Miley Cyrus’ empowering breakup—and, more importantly, self-love—Grammy-winning anthem on repeat for the rest of February, thank you very much!
Paramount/Kobal/Shutterstock
The First Wives Club
You won’t get mad, but you will get everything you need from this 1996 comedy classic that starred the dream trio of Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton and Bette Midler and proved revenge really is a dish best served cold.
HBO
The Last of Us
Ditch the rom-coms to catch up on the Emmy-winning TV show everyone is talking about, HBO’s breathtaking adaptation of one of the most popular video games. Game of Thrones alums Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey make for an unlikely yet ridiculously compelling duo in this dystopian drama about a zombie apocalypse. No, it’s not what you think. Yes, you will regret not starting it ASAP. But PSA: It might destroy your appetite for mushrooms.
20th Century Fox/Regency/Kobal/Shutterstock
Gone Girl
We will forever be grateful to Gillian Flynn for the iconic “cool girl” monologue, which Rosamund Pike delivers with pitch-perfect resentment in the movie adaptation of her 2012 novel.
Simon & Schuster
It Ends With Us
Don’t let the title of Colleen Hoover’s beloved 2016 novel fool you ’cause this “romance” should not be romanticized. Plus, you can totally be the friend that says “Well, I read the book” when the film adaptation starring Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni hoovers into theaters.
Moviestore/Shutterstock
Thelma & Louise
“You’ve always been crazy, this is just the first chance you’ve had to express yourself.”
Stitch this quote from the 1991 classic starring Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon on a pillow and deliver one to every woman in America, please and thank you!
Amazon
Morbid podcast
Hosted by autopsy technician Alaina Urquhart and hairstylist Ashleigh Kelly, this addictive true crime show is the right mix of humor, horror and heart. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll probably want to lock your door and hide from other people forever. To quote the hosts: Better a rude bitch than a dead bitch.
Moviestore/Shutterstock
Get Out
If Jordan Peele’s iconic horror movie isn’t considered elite Valentine’s Day counter-programming then we are truly in the sunken place.
Geffen Records
Sour
Us during the lead-up to Valentine’s Day: God, it’s brutal out here. Olivia Rodrigo: May we offer lower-case songs with caps-lock feelings? The definitive breakup album for Gen-Z still hits the sweet spot for us.
VLAD CIOPLEA/NETFLIX
Wednesday
Come for the sardonic humor, stay for the…well, the sardonic humor. Jenna Ortega is scary good as a teenage Wednesday Addams in the Netflix drama, which reached 182 million households and 1.2 billion hours viewed in its first 28 days. Now that’s the stuff of nightmares.
Netflix
All Things Pamela Anderson
Forget flowers and chocolate because the Netflix documentary Pamela, a Love Story, and complementary memoir, With Love, Pamela, is the dream pairing. For the first time in her career, the Baywatch star is telling her story on her own terms, proving she’s her own muse.
Diyah Pera/20th Century Fox/Kobal/Shutterstock
John Tucker Must Die
Four scorned young women teaming up to take down the f–kboy who just seems to get away with all of his bad behavior? Yes please, may we have some more?
Wondery
Twin Flames podcast
Phew, strap in and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times when you begin this journey about two YouTubers who claimed they could help you land your soul mate, come hell, high water or a restraining order.
(This story was originally published on Monday, Feb. 13, 2023 at 9 p.m. PT.)
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