For most people, having kids is a blessing. Some are happy even if they can’t provide for the family financially. One of our readers faced a controversial problem. Her sister loves kids so much, even a little money doesn’t stop her. Our reader looks at things from a different perspective and doesn’t find the announcement as exciting.
Our reader left us a message.
Thanks for getting in touch with us! We understand how much you’re worried, and we’re here to help you.
Apologize to your sister.
Your comment might have been too hurtful for your sister. She was expecting your support or some kind of positive reaction, but you focused on the materialistic part instead. It’s great that you care about your sister, but you could have at least talk to her privately later.
Apologize to her and avoid blaming or shaming them. Remember that you don’t know all the details about their financial situation, and they don’t have to account to you either.
Ask about their plans.
Talk to your sister about their plans for the future. Maybe her husband got promoted or found another job. You might be unaware of the changes that happened in their family, so you shouldn’t judge them only by what you see. If you’re so preoccupied with their financial state, ask your sister if they need any financial help. This can help you understand if they have thought about the financial implications.
You might worry too much.
Believe it or not, but your sister might not actually think they’re poor. It all depends on how they feel about their financial situation. Perhaps their way of living is more poor when you compare it to yours.
You might also be worried so much that you might be imagining things. The kids might have looked at the cake not because they were starving, but because it was so beautiful they couldn’t take their eyes off of it. It all comes down to how the family feels. It all comes down to whether they’re happy or not.
Offer them your help.
You might offer them your help if you feel like they need it. Do it in a supporting way rather than patronizing.
If you want to help them with money, never make a big deal out of it, it was your decision, after all. Besides, your help isn’t limited to finances only. You can also show her that you are there for her, regardless of the situation.
Having a baby can really shake things up in a relationship, and it often brings some unexpected “surprises” in terms of relationships. In this article, our reader refused to sleep in another room even though his baby couldn’t fall asleep.
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