Mothers are understandably very protective of their newborn babies, but at the same time too vulnerable to maintain personal boundaries and question their own adequacy when they do, especially with the immediate family members. A user on Reddit shared her concerns about a SIL and the way their relationship rapidly changed during her pregnancy, to the point where she didn’t let her see her baby. Read the full story in our article.
What was the context?
My sister-in-law is unable to conceive children but adopted her daughter 11 years ago (who is now 12). A couple of years ago, she began pressuring her husband to adopt another child, but he was not on board. When I became pregnant, she started to criticize me around 5 months into my pregnancy.
She would invite me over frequently and constantly express concerns about my ability to care for a child due to my history of depression. Her comments made me doubt myself and caused me a lot of distress. As my due date approached, her comments became more intense, with statements like, “I may have to fight with my brother for custody of the baby if something goes wrong” and “I will take custody if you can’t handle it.” I naively believed she was just showing concern rather than being manipulative.
After giving birth, my SIL visited when my daughter was 2 weeks old. She held my baby, she cried, and I tried to take her, but she refused to give her back and bounced her till she fell asleep. This incident worsened my postpartum depression. I sought therapy and realized that my SIL was trying to manipulate me into giving her custody of my daughter.
When my SIL recently asked to take my baby for snuggles, I refused, citing my lack of trust in her due to her behavior during my pregnancy and after the birth. She argued that I was overreacting and accused me of having a manic episode. I blocked her contact, but she is not involving my mother-in-law and causing issues for my husband.
What was people’s reaction?
Users online largely supported the woman and assured her that SIL was being manipulated and the decision she made to protect herself and her baby was right.
She is unhinged. Protect your child at all costs because she has made it clear she’s a master manipulator. Rawrsome_Mommy / RedditNow, this is a perfect example of gaslighting. She went out of her way to make you feel like you were going crazy to get your own way. I hope your husband is supporting you in this. I would absolutely not let her anywhere near my child or me.
Keep going to therapy, record her when she threatens you so you have a record in case she escalates. Also, make sure you have cameras around your house because I could see someone like her going out of her way to break in and do something to cause problems. Roadgoddess / Reddit
Some people went as far as to suggest that she might have already been involved in Child Protective Services (CPS):
Document everything. She probably already called CPS. I would not let the baby out of your sight with any family member. They may believe her about your mental health, and she has probably been manipulating them while she was manipulating you.
Your husband needs to man up and realize the seriousness. Does he understand that she said she would fight him legally for his baby? Has she been working on him to doubt you? Protect your house, girl. Tell the husband to wake up and don’t do anything stupid like sneak the baby out for a visit. OldMammaSpeaks / RedditYou need to be aware because the call to CPS is next. RedInAmerica / RedditSome people rightfully wondered what’s the author’s husband’s stance in this situation. Where is your husband in all this? And does her husband know she’s pulling this? QuietSignificance959 / RedditWhat is your husband doing? He should be letting her know in no uncertain terms that she’s not welcome due to her actions Worldly_Act5867 / Reddit
Another user shared a related story about her sister-in-law. She banned her sister-in-law from seeing her baby after she made a creepy joke that raised red flags.
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