In the complexity of family relationships, we often encounter situations that test our values. One of the most difficult challenges is when our family is having financial problems and even more so when this puts the health of its members at risk.
We all know that mixing money and family often results in an explosive combination. Sometimes the situation arises when someone needs to borrow money from you, but you know it’s like throwing it into a bottomless pit. But at the end of the day, all you want is to keep your pockets safe and your family relationships in harmony. This story made us wonder… What matters more: love and loyalty to family or personal growth?
My mom and I moved out of our house and into an apartment, while my dad immediately moved his mistress into our house because she was pregnant with my twin brothers.
My mom was devastated, but she quickly picked herself up for the two of us. She went back to school, and, as a result, she continued climbing up in her career. My mom adjusted better to going from a double-income household to a single income and was able to contribute a substantial amount of money to my college fund.
My dad, on the other hand, had a harder time as he now had to support a family of four on a single income as his wife was a stay-at-home mom. My dad did not have much disposable income and did not contribute as much to the fund.
Unfortunately, my 10-year-old stepbrother was diagnosed with kidney disease and must undergo dialysis. My dad is drowning in medical debt, so my mom agreed that he should no longer pay my child support.
The specialist suggested a different treatment for my brother, as most other treatments did not help or stopped working, and they are running out of options before a transplant (not feasible at this time). This treatment is not covered by insurance and costs a lot. My dad can’t borrow money because of his debts.
My dad got a second job on weekends, and his wife homeschools the kids and takes care of my brother full-time. My dad’s family disowned him when they found out he had cheated on my mother. Still, he got some help from his brother and sister, but they can only help a little. His wife doesn’t have much family, so I think coming to me was his last option.
I really don’t want to give them the money because I know that if I don’t get any scholarships, then I won’t be able to go to the college I want without going into debt. My future would be at risk and I know my dad won’t help me. So, I decided to call my mom.
She got off work early and picked me up at Dad’s house. She took me out for coffee and I explained what happened. After talking a bit, she said I could keep the fund and not give the money to Dad, or we can take the money Dad contributed all these years and give it back to him. I told her I wanted to give Dad back the money.
After we finished our coffee, Mom withdrew the exact amount Dad had put in over the years, and she also matched the amount and added it up to give it to Dad.
I waited in the car while she gave Dad the money, and he was upset because the money was not enough. Mom told him that’s all he was going to get from us and threatened to take him to court if he and his wife continued to disturb me.
Lastly, I would feel bad if something happened to my brother —he is just a little boy— but I would like to help him with MY OWN money, and I can only do that if I start my career debt free. I also don’t want to risk my future.
While lending money to family members is a personal choice, these 16 stories show that it might not be the best idea.
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