The process of giving birth may not be for the faint-hearted. And this is a fact that probably every man should be prepared for while getting ready for a partnership delivery. Our today’s heroine is a woman, whose life had been happy, like in a fairy tale, until she gave birth to her very long-awaited baby. She wrote a letter to our editorial, and asked us for advice on how to live through the tough situation that happened in her family.
The woman’s relationship with her husband had been fabulous all the time.
A woman, 35, whose name’s Adele, has recently sent a letter to our editorial, where she told us her very intimate and, at the same time, very dramatic family story.
Adele started her letter, saying that she and her husband Jeremy have been happily married for over 10 years. Their love story was very romantic. Adele wrote, «We have known each other almost all our life. We met in the kindergarten and instantly became friends. Jeremy would always defend me when other boys and girls were teasing me because of my weight. And we were basically growing up together.»
Adele wrote that they started dating when they both were 15 years old, and got married at 25. The woman revealed that Jeremy has always been her best friend, her beloved man and her real soulmate. They have been through so many things together, and always were there for one another.
The woman said that she couldn’t even think that something could go wrong between them after so many years together.
The couple went through a painful period together.
Adele continues her story, saying, that the biggest pain for their family was that they couldn’t conceive for a long time. She wrote, «Jeremy and I wanted many kids even before we got married. We were dreaming about a big family, and a big house for us all. This was something that we could call our mutual dream, but it didn’t come true instantly.»
The woman revealed that they had been trying for long 6 years, and each time the pregnancy test showed a negative result, it felt like «a small death» for both of them. When they nearly lost hope and even were thinking of adopting a child, the miracle finally happened. Adele became pregnant.
The woman wrote, «I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a positive result of the pregnancy test. I did 15 of them that evening, only to feel this joy again, seeing the confirmation that I was going to finally become a mom.»
The happy couple were preparing to become parents, and nothing could spoil their joy.
Adele revealed that when she announced to Jeremy that she was pregnant, he was over the moon with happiness. He immediately started making plans. How they would choose the things for the baby, how they would arrange their gender reveal party and how they would arrange the room for their child.
Adele wrote, «Jeremy also immediately insisted that he would love to be present in the delivery room and watch me giving birth. I hesitated about this decision, though. The reason was that Jeremy is a very sensitive person, and he’s also very squeamish. As a woman, I of course understood that giving birth is not at all about unicorns and rainbows, and I even started persuading him to come see the baby after it’s born.»
But Jeremy was absolutely fascinated with the idea of partnership birth. Adele wrote that he was literally obsessed with it and couldn’t wait for it to happen. So, she finally agreed.
The spouses thoroughly prepared for the monumental day in their life.
Adele and Jeremy found out that they were going to have a baby girl, and this made their happiness even stronger. The woman revealed that Jeremy had always been dreaming about a daughter, and he would always say that he would love to have Adele’s «mini me», so much he was in love with his wife.
Though the woman was very happy about having a baby daughter soon, she didn’t forget about the practical side of the process. She wanted Jeremy to join her at every course for young parents that she was attending, but he thought this was not necessary, and preferred to keep himself busy with other things, like looking for the baby outfits, baby bed, decoration for the nursery.
Adele was asking him several times to join her and to get more involved into what was happening, but he always said it’s more for women than for men, and that he doesn’t feel any pre-birth anxiety, so he was permanently off.
The things went from very good to very bad in a delivery room.
Adele goes on with her story, saying that things were fine until the delivery day. She wrote, «When I felt I was going to give birth, it was somewhere around midnight. Jeremy was sleeping, I woke him up and said that we need to rush to the hospital. He was very organized, he did everything in a very consecutive, well-planned way.»
But when the spouses appeared in a delivery room, the whole drama started. The woman revealed, «At some moment, while I was giving birth, I pushed really hard, and I literally pooped. For me, it was a normal process, I was ready that this might happen in some cases, but Jeremy obviously wasn’t ready for this.»
Adele emotionally recalls, «I noticed how my dear, beloved husband, my best friend and my soulmate, started running out of the delivery room, holding his nose with his fingers. I was totally shocked at such reaction, but I really needed to concentrate on delivering my baby, so I did my best to push out a healthy and very much loved little human being.»
The relationship between spouses started to decline after that day in a delivery room.
Adele wrote, «Jeremy was so happy to hold our little girl Rosa for the first time. He seemed to be radiating that happiness, and kept smiling and baby-talking to her. But whenever he looked at me, his eyes were empty, and I somehow felt that he was disgusted.»
When the spouses got home with their baby, Jeremy was acting very cold towards his wife. Adele insisted that they should sit and talk, and he revealed that he couldn’t accept Adele as his woman, his princess, anymore. She was the mother of his child, and he was happy and grateful, but his romantic feelings towards her were gone.
Adele revealed, «I asked him if it was because of what he saw in the delivery room, and he said yes, he was so disgusted to see me defecating, that he couldn’t now unsee it every time he looked at me.»
Adele finished her letter saying that she was at a loss on what to do with this situation. She said she even considered a divorce, because their relationship has become cold, as if they were two complete strangers, and she even started suspecting that Jeremy was cheating on her with some woman, whom he found attractive now.
We’d advise Adele to give her spouse some time and seek for professional help.
We are very grateful to Adele for sharing her intimate story with us. We’d advise the woman not to jump into conclusions with divorce and to try to wait until Jeremy gets settled with the whole situation.
Of course, her spouse must have been better prepared, informationally, for what he will see in the delivery room, but since it hasn’t happened, he will probably need to visit a therapist now. We think that their couple is absolutely awesome and time and family counseling may save their relationship.
Also, their little daughter is the best remedy for their relationship now. The baby may also help her parents bond and finally spend their time not on remembering what happened in the delivery room, but on taking care after her and loving her more than anything.
And here’s yet another dramatic story of a woman, who never cheated on her husband, but he insisted that a paternity test he did on their kid, was negative.
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