Our reader, a woman named Sofia, shared her concerns about her financial relationship with her spouse. She can’t believe how he reacted to a seemingly innocent suggestion of hers regarding their family budget. The woman regrets even raising this topic with her spouse, because of his anxiety and anger. But, on the other hand, she’s tired of how things are arranged in their family, when she must pay for everything on her own, and all she wants is justice.
Sofia honestly believes that the financial situation in her family is unfair.
Sofia, 40, has sent us a very emotional letter, where she shared the details of her complicated situation with her husband at the moment. The desperate woman can’t find the way out and doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but her life with her spouse has become unbearable after she raised a question that turned out to be very painful for her husband.
The woman opened her letter, saying, “I’m 40 and my husband Robert is 41, we’ve been married for 2 years. The situation in our family is very tense. I earn twice more than my husband. He earns fine, way more than average.
I’m saving a lot, and I’m definitely not frugal. I absolutely like my nice things, but I still manage to have an emergency fund, a holiday fund, a medical fund for our cats, and a fund for whatever big spending is coming my way. I take care of such things like a big dental work or home renovation. I invest a bit as well.”
Robert has a different attitude to money.
The woman goes on with her story, saying, “On the contrary, my husband seems to burn through his money. It’s always ’lend me this or lend me that.’ We have separate budgets, it’s like it was always done in my family.
I don’t really care who pays for groceries, and Robert cooks, cleans and does the majority of housework. But recently, I suggested that we share bills, because they obviously went up after he moved in. Now I’m not able to save as much as I could before our marriage.”
Sofia confessed, “I did expect a normal attitude about this proposal. I couldn’t even imagine that Robert would turn out to be so vulnerable about a suggestion that would work for the majority of progressive families. His reaction left me dumbfounded.”
Sofia described Robert’s attitude and her feelings about it.
The woman goes on with her story, saying, “Robert got totally mad about my suggestion. He seemed to have accepted it as a personal offense. He did look very hurt and frustrated. He’s upset whenever I raise that issue again, and I’m sure that it’s not a question of him earning enough, but of his spending habits.
Just an illustration. Due to us having separate budgets, we each pay for our trips and stuff separately, but when I return from holidays knowing that I have money to live until paycheck, he returns with literally nothing. So, I have to pay for everything that is related to our household, and Robert has no problems at all.”
Sofia revealed, “This situation makes me really sad, and I feel that this is unfair. I can’t live with a man, who expects me to be responsible for our expenses, while he would just get angry or sad whenever I raise an uncomfortable topic.”
Sofia is doing what she can do, but to no avail.
The woman revealed, “I nag him to take a financial management class (I have three good ones taped, won’t cost him a dime). Robert just gets angry and brushes me off, saying that he’s a grown up man and doesn’t need my silly advice. I managed to make him pay life insurance (he has a very risky hobby), but that’s that, he won’t budge for more financial habits. Recently, he has started speaking about us splitting up and even divorcing. This issue is really breaking our family apart.”
Sofia asked our readers a question, “Am I wrong in this situation? Should I leave him alone? He complains that I just don’t understand because I earn so much, but I know families with kids living by half his salary, and we’re childless. What should I do?”
And here’s yet another dramatic family story, that is quickly turning into a real scandal. A man is complaining that his wife totally refused to help his parents and give them money, which makes him sad and even depressed.
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