A desperate young lady, 19, has taken to Reddit to get people’s advice on an issue that is very painful for her. The girl appeared to be the only caretaker for her siblings, while her mom just went away on her own business. The OP has been desperate all this time, because her mom wouldn’t show up for 9 long weeks. She’s sure that everything’s okay with the woman, and she asked people about what she should do in such a critical situation.
The young woman took to Reddit to tell people about her heart-wrenching situation.
A young lady, 19, has taken to one of Reddit’s communities and told people about her uneasy family situation. The girl is bearing a huge burden of responsibility at her young age, because her mother decided to «live for herself» and not to bother with the rest of her kids anymore.
The woman started her post, saying, «My siblings are 16, 13, 12, 9, and 7. I’m 19.»
Then, she described the situation she has recently faced. She wrote, «My mum went out two days before Christmas and then texted me 12 hours later saying she would be gone for a week and for me to have the kids. She hasn’t come back since. So almost 9 weeks.»
The girl is sure that everything is okay with her mom, at least the woman has come in touch with her several times. The OP explained, «I have heard from her 3 times total, and she is saying she isn’t coming back any time soon, she just keeps sending money.»
The young woman is desperate, because she has a lot of responsibility now.
The OP continued her story, saying, «I’m surviving looking after the kids by myself and tbh not much has changed because I did most of it when my mum was here anyway. We live with our nan, but she doesn’t help with them really either, and my older siblings are long moved out.»
What makes it even harder for the girl, is that now she has to make some decision about the whole situation, and it seems not an easy choice.
She detailed it later in the comments, saying, «I guess all I know is I REALLY don’t want them going into care. The system where we live is bad, and I just don’t want them to go through that. I don’t feel like my life prospects are great anyway, and I don’t want to send them into care, so I can maybe have a bit better life. Because I doubt I would anyway, and I think the guilt would torture me more than just sticking it out with them. Maybe if I didn’t already do everything for them before my mum left, then this would feel worse, but I have taken care of them for years already, and I don’t think I can abandon them.»
She added, that she doesn’t have enough support in the family either. She explained, «My nan might agree to that. For now, she just says my mum will be back soon. She refuses to help with the kids generally because she’s been there done that or whatever and says she’s too old.»
She is now tortured by a single question which she brought up for Redditors to think about. The girl wrote, «I guess my question is, is my mum being gone a serious issue legally and with social services? I don’t want to risk the kids going into care (been there done that when I was younger) so I haven’t told anyone that she’s gone. I’m scared of what will happen if people find out so I don’t want to even ask the question irl.»
The young woman added some painful details to her story.
In the comments, where people started to ask her a plenty of additional questions, the girl revealed some more details about her family and background.
She replied to one of the comments, saying, «I would rather ruin my life than all of theirs though. I know foster care will ruin them more than I will. Maybe if they could be fostered together or in our area and still have family contact, then things could be ok. But that won’t happen.
I have had a lot of bad days where I have thought about how great it would be not having to look after them, but I really think I would be mentally tortured by the guilt and wondering if they are ok. Especially the 2 youngest who I have raised for their entire lives.»
The woman also explained why she’s struggling to make a decision on her own. She said, «I didn’t do great in school, we don’t have much money, live in a bad area, I can tick most of the boxes for things that set you back in life.
I work now and make a decent wage, but I just can’t imagine being able to enjoy that if I abandoned my family. I have thought about it a lot and I used to wish I could just go and live my own life, but reality is I would have no one and nothing to live for.»
People of Reddit supported the girl and gave her some pieces of really valuable advice.
Redditors came to the comments section to mainly support the young lady and send her some words of kindness. Some people posted really good advice for the desperate woman.
One person wrote, «You can still achieve the career/life goals that you want without „abandoning“ your family. In fact, they would be better off if you set yourself up for success. I don’t know your aspirations, but trade school and community college aren’t really that long in the grand scheme of things.
Maybe consider sitting everyone down and having a family meeting. Explain to them what you want to do, and how you think it could benefit them.
„I want to be able to X. It might require some sacrifices now from all of us, but if I succeed, we could have a more stable future, and I would have extra money to be able to spend on our family needs. However, to do this, I need all of you to help me. Maybe we can take turns shopping and cooking, and we can split cleaning. Maybe 1 of you could create a cleaning schedule so that it is fair? What do you all think about this plan?“
Family is very important, but this responsibility is not all on you. Your nan and your siblings are all pretty much able and old enough to help out in different ways.»
Another person added, «I didn’t do great in school either. I worked hard and have a degree and a family of my own now. Don’t let your past choices define you. It’s never too late to put in a little hard work to gain a lot of benefits. Your family will benefit as well.
The older siblings should be pretty self-sufficient, so you should be able to take some time for yourself instead of putting your future on hold. You should look to move out the moment your mom comes back, so this doesn’t happen again.»
And one more user said, «You need to report your mother for abandoning her kids, but at the same time tell them you will look after them. Your mum needs to learn she can’t do this to her kids and needs to be brought up on child abandonment charges.»
And here’s yet another family drama of a woman who kicked her pregnant daughter and her 6 kids out from her house, and the reason for it is devastating.
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