Family legacies are often sustained with pride and anticipation, each generation carrying forward the dreams and traditions of those who came before. Yet, what happens when the next generation refuses to take on this mantle? This was the dilemma one mother faced with her daughter.
I’m Gen X and I have a huge problem with how I am left carrying the weight for millennials. For example, I’m 42 and my daughter is 22. She decided a while ago she does not want any kids. She’s actually getting a procedure for sterilization next year.
But those souls needing to come into our family for ancestral or karmic reasons still need to be born. So I’m stuck birthing and raising two babies who should have been born to her but can’t be because she’s too selfish to have kids.
We joke how my 1.5-year-old girl – her sibling – is actually hers, but she just didn’t want to have it. But deep down? It’s not a joke. If she wasn’t so selfish, I wouldn’t have a toddler daughter right now.
But people couldn’t be on her side.
“I need to start using this excuse. I didn’t want to binge 15 tacos. But you didn’t do it, so I had to for our ancestral spirits. Why am I eating sausages? You know why.” IanFortey / Twitter”Good grief! This is so not a Gen X position. We’re like, please don’t have kids if you are not flipping ready, even if that’s never!” RoseCastro / Twitter”I was mocked as a kid, so have really bad associations with children. My mother and I had a toxic relationship, and my parenting imprinting is bad. I don’t have a lifestyle that lends itself to kids. Happily married, a guy who never wanted kids either.
We rescue dogs. It would be the height of selfishness to have a child, who’d have to go through years of therapy fixing what we went wrong. So thankful I’m now over 50 and people have stopped asking and designated me as the black sheep of the family.” SevereSociety / Twitter
“Yeah, it’s definitely the daughter who’s selfish, lol.” uncle_authority / Twitter”Okay, that’s just…weird. My daughter is 42 and chose not to have children. Uh, no… I never, ever thought about making more babies to ‘compensate.'” LeeAnneAyres1 / Twitter”This isn’t how most Gen X think. That they want to be a parent again at 40 is their decision, don’t blame it on their kid, who knows she’s not going to be a good mother.” Dranemra / Twitter
“I’m Gen X, but DEFINITELY not a boomer yet. BUT WOW, as someone in the mental health field… Those last two sentences. She has her life: hope, dreams, etc. The daughter has her own wants, needs, and goals for the future. Just be happy that she’s happy.” L0vexxMuzik / Twitter”Every single day, I learn more and more things that make me want to never interact with another person again.” KittyduJour / Twitter”To think, I could have been using this excuse for decades when I eat way too much.” TheSylvreWolfe / Twitter
Navigating the complexities of family expectations and personal desires is never straightforward, and her journey to preserve family legacy has been filled with both triumphs and heartaches. Though the future may look different from what she once imagined, we hope it is still filled with hope, love, and the enduring spirit of their family.
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