The Jimmys (good) versus the Jimmys (ugh).
Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Jimmy Awards via YouTube, Randy Holmes via Getty Images
With the Golden Globes officially over and done with (bye, Jo Koy), the 2024 awards season is officially underway. The Emmys, the Grammys, the Oscars, the SAG Awards, the Indie Spirit Awards, and all those other ones are all soon to come, which means if you’re a chronic award-show watcher like everybody at Vulture, you’ll be noticing some tropes. Commonalities between award shows aren’t inherently bad — we watch comfortingly similar shows in order to live — but they can certainly get old. With that in mind, we’ve put together an ins and outs list for the 2024 award season. Producers, take notes.
In: The Jimmys
As in the award show celebrating high-school musical-theater students from across the country. Reneé Rapp and Andrew Barth Feldman are alumni of this prestigious ceremony, which is IN for its remarkable musical numbers, support of gay children (both out and basically out), and ragingly competitive nature, which it attempts to conceal behind the guise of “Theater is like family.”
Out: The Jimmys
As in Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. These straight boys don’t care about award shows, they care about baseball. Let them host a baseball game, and let Las Culturistas host the Oscars.
In: Correct choices
This year’s Golden Globes actually had a pretty great lineup of winners, and the Television Academy is already off to a great start awarding Tim Robinson, Sam Richardson, and Judith Light last Saturday at the Creative Arts Emmys. Let’s keep this streak going (Daniel Nigro Best Producer at the Grammys summoning circle).
In: Movie-theater releases
They’re back, babe.
Out: Streaming releases at movie awards
Movies that go on Netflix immediately should be nominated for Emmys.
In: Thanking the little guys (assistants, restaurant workers, teachers, Marty Scorsese)
Ayo Edebiri set a tone. Follow suit, Robert Downey Jr.
Out: Red-carpet journalists finding any excuse to ask actors/directors questions about Taylor Swift
Carey Mulligan doesn’t even know which album the song her husband’s featured on is from. She doesn’t care! Ask her about Sophie Ellis-Bextor or even no musicians at all.
In: Justine Triet
Wears good shirts and wrote-directed a good movie (Anatomy of a Fall), which is ultimately about biphobia. Justine Tri-yay!
Out: Ignoring the many cultural contributions of James Marsden
Deserves a lifetime achievement for Hairspray alone!
In: Strike references
The strike was this year.
Out: Striking … an onstage presenter across the face
Been there, done that.
In: Leonard Bernstein’s favorite pupil
This year’s awards season stands in Lydia Tár’s long shadow, even if she was banned from conducting the play-off music at the Oscars after she was canceled last year.
Out: Leonard Bernstein’s least-favorite depictress
Cooper’s gonna bat zero this year, huh.
Out: Leonard Bernstein’s children
Don’t care!
In: Celeb couple red-carpet moments
Rosalía and JAW pleeeease, reality-TV x comedian lesbians pleeeease, Big Barry and Sabrina Carpenter pleeeeease. (Martin and Meryl,
In: Bows (accessory)
The coquette thing is barreling forward, and who are we to attempt to stop it?
Out: Bows (with prayer hands as an act of faux-modesty in response to applause)
Ugh.
In: Clip packages
All categories should come with little clips from the movie that show off the nominated work. It’s fun to get a little break to watch a movie and even more fun to go “They picked that clip?” with anger.
Out: Vamping in audience
Those bits when the host goes into the audience get laughs, sure, but they’re cheap, discomfort-based laughs.
In: Vaping in audience
It says a lot about someone to know what flavor ELF Bar they hit.
In: Playing off men
Men have too much to say sometimes.
Out: Playing off women
Anyone who plays Lily Gladstone off the stage should be sent into solitary confinement for 20-30 hours to think about what they’ve done.
In: Suits (2011–2019)
The biggest show on television right now was shot in Toronto, Ontario, 13 years ago.
Out: Groots (2014–2023)
We’re maybe canceling Vin?
In: Palestine lapel pins
Take the lead here, Poor Things boys.
In: Marc Malkin of Variety dot com
His commitment to asking people whether May December is a comedy: good bit.
Out: Karamo
Are the Karamo red-carpet fans in the room with us now?
In: Planning your speech
It’s nigh impossible to be so charming in an off-the-cuff speech that the audience doesn’t just wish you planned something (Olivia Coleman is the exception that proves the rule). So just plan something, you guys. If you don’t win, at least you got to practice your creative writing.
In: Charles Melton winning
The pretty boy… wins!
Out: Thanking problematic producers
Yuck!
Out: Big Four accounting firms
It’s sweet that they shout-out the number-crunchers tallying the votes, but these businesses don’t need our love.
In: Abacus Crunch
Did “Scrub Scrub” make the Best Song short list?
In: Musical numbers with rewatch value
Something the Tonys know: The best way to make your program live in perpetuity is to do a musical number that people will rewatch. Who would care about the 2023 BAFTAs if it weren’t for Ariana DeBose? In fact …
In: Ariana DeBose
Better to be a Hathaway than a Franco, we always say!
Out: Men wearing lifts on the carpet (DeSantis chic)
Short kings have been in for like five years now. It’s time for these short little boys to accept that they are going to be shorter than some of the statuesque, heel-wearing women they’re posing with on the carpet. We promise teen girls will still make fancams of you.
In: Men with purses on red carpet
We think it’s hot.
Out: Hosts saying movies are long/boring/too high-brow
Sorry, you chose to be the host of this thing. The people watching chose to watch the thing. It’s lazy and annoying to say that the movies are too lame. If you need something shorter and sweeter, you can go watch Cocomelon and let the adults chat for a bit.
In: Public domain Mickey Mouse
An unsanctioned Steamboat Willie should give an Oscar to Zone of Interest.
Out: Intellectual Property
Let the sequels die after next year’s inevitable Furiosa and Dune 2 technical-category sweep.
In: Barbenheimer
It is unstoppable.
Out: Carbon fiber (black red carpet)
Almost rhymes with Barbenheimer. Either way, red carpets should be red.
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