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Whether you’re looking for a situationship or a long-term partner, it’s never a bad idea to use clear, direct communication to see if you and a potential match are on the same page. But when in doubt, there are also ways to communicate your desires nonverbally. Enter: the triangle method.
The triangle method is a simple yet effective way to make it clear that you’re attracted to someone without having to directly say anything at all. The technique has recently gained popularity from TikTok, as the #trianglemethod already has 47.3 million views filled with content creators explaining why it’s so effective. Similarly to the orange peel theory, you can use the triangle method to gauge how someone feels about you.
But what actually is the triangle method? And how does it work? We spoke with clinical psychologist Lisa Lawless, PhD, on why learning the triangle method could actually get your crush crushing. (You can also ask your crush these questions for an even higher success rate.)
Experts Featured in This Article
Lisa Lawless, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and CEO of Holistic Wisdom.
What Is the Triangle Method?
Also known as triangular gazing, the triangle method is when you move your eyes to gaze at another person’s left eye, then their right eye, then down to their mouth, and then back up to their left eye, therefore creating a triangle, Dr. Lawless explains. “The goal is to entice them to kiss you, and it is often used in flirting,” she notes.
Using the triangle method could also increase the chances of your feelings for that person being reciprocated. As Dr. Lawless points out, research published in the National Library of Medicine has shown that falling in love with a person or simply being interested in them sexually can lead to looking at their face more.
“When potential partners make eye contact for a prolonged period, they will likely cultivate a deeper level of intimacy,” Dr. Lawless explains. “This is because it releases chemicals in the brain associated with long-term bonding and attraction.” As an example, this kind of eye contact might cause a surge of both the bonding hormone, oxytocin, and a neurotransmitter associated with passionate love, phenylethylamine.
In other words, as long as mutual attraction is there, the triangle method could be the fastest way of getting your sexual interest across to someone.
Why Does the Triangle Method Work?
OK, so prolonged eye contact leads to a burst of lovey-dovey chemicals, but why does this particular triangle method work? “Providing brief eye contact can maintain a connection without making the other person feel self-conscious by staring at them,” Dr. Lawless points out. “Shifting the gaze to the mouth can signal attraction and create anticipation for a kiss.”
Still, it takes two to tango: “Triangular gazing can be effective if the person you are looking at is sexually attracted to you,” she notes. “When someone feels desired, they are more likely to feel comfortable reciprocating their desire in return.”
How to Do the Triangle Method, and Tips For Making It Effective
If you’re asking yourself how to do the triangle method, it’s fairly simple: all you do is gaze from a person’s left eye to their right eye, then down to their mouth, and finally back up to their left eye. But if you want to be super effective at the triangle method, here are some tips:
Make sure you do this movement slowly. Some TikTokers have made fun of the triangle method for being super obvious, so you’ll be most effective if you slow it down. “You don’t want your eyes to dart around someone’s face quickly,” Dr. Lawless warns. “Instead, it should feel natural. It can come across as awkward or even unsettling if it’s too pronounced.” For that reason, she recommends moving your gaze no more than every five to 10 seconds to keep the interaction dynamic and natural feeling without being too distracting.
It also may be helpful to practice. Though trying the triangle method might make you feel like you’re starring in a coming-of-age flick, it can be helpful to give the method a shot on your own before trying it on someone you’re attracted to. “Practicing it in the mirror can help you get a feel for it so that it will become a more natural movement,” Dr. Lawless explains.
Lastly, keep your overall body language in mind. Your gaze is important, Dr. Lawless notes, but so is everything else your body is doing in the moment. “Be mindful of your facial expressions, posture, and gestures to ensure you’re communicating interest,” she advises. Consider smiling, leaning toward the person you’re flirting with, nodding, etc. “This can include mirroring their body language as it sends an unconscious message of feeling on the same page with them,” Dr. Lawless explains. She adds that “preening behavior,” such as fixing your hair or adjusting your clothing, also sends the signal that you’re into someone because you want to look your best.
Maressa Brown is a journalist, author, and astrologer. Her areas of expertise include writing, reporting, and editing lifestyle, pop culture, and parenting content that’s both conversational and substantive. In addition to contributing to POPSUGAR, she writes for a variety of consumer-facing publications including InStyle, Parents, and Shape, and was previously an editor at Cosmopolitan and CafeMom.
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