“We’re just normal — not the freaks and weirdos we’re made out to be,” this is the most common reply from Jake and Hannah Graf when they’re asked about their family’s story. Both spouses have swapped genders, and, recently, the couple welcomed their second child. The amount of attention that this duo gets from people is immense, but they use it wisely. The loving spouses, now twice a mom and dad, have an important message to deliver to the whole world with their example.
The love story began with a huge pile challenges.
There was absolutely nothing unusual when actor, writer, and director Jake Graf proposed to his girlfriend, British Army Captain Hannah Winterbourne, in September 2017. The couple had been dating for 2 years already, and the lovebirds knew that they had a nice future ahead of them.
The love story twist is that the future wife, Hannah, was male at birth and after transitioning, she became the highest-ranked trans Officer of the British Army. Her future husband Jake had been living as a woman for a long time before he transitioned and changed his life completely.
Hannah describes her life, saying, “Growing up transgender and in the closet, reading all the horrible things on social media that were said about transgender people made you feel entirely unlovable. So the prospect of even dating or having a relationship, let alone marrying and having kids, is like a dream come true to me.”
Jake adds, “I grew up in London. I’d never heard the word trans or transgender, I just knew from a very early age that I was a boy and got no help with that whatsoever. From a very early age, I suffered from crippling self-doubt, low self-esteem, a total lack of confidence because I knew myself to be a boy but was told my whole life that I wasn’t.
I couldn’t have imagined even transitioning. Certainly not falling in love, getting married, and having a baby. Having what a lot of people perceive to be a normal lifestyle. To me, it seemed absolutely unattainable. I feel absolutely privileged and very, very fortunate every day.”
Now the couple are the happiest parents and they feel totally blessed.
Jake and Hannah now have a 3-year-old daughter, Millie, and a 1-year-old daughter, Teddie. They are considered Britain’s most high-profile trans couple, and they carry this position with the highest responsibility.
Knowing one day that he wanted to be a parent, Jake stopped testosterone for 6 months and had his eggs harvested and fertilized by donor biological material, and the embryos were then frozen. After their marriage, the couple used a surrogate who carried both their daughters. Their parenting journey was even recounted in the documentary Our Baby: A Modern Miracle in 2020.
Today, the spouses are in awe at the path both of their lives have taken.
“A father of two! It’s more than I ever imagined,” exclaims Jake. “Just saying the words seems beyond my reality.”
Hannah adds, “It’s hard to imagine I once doubted this life was possible. There are so many trans people who would love to have a relationship and family like ours. We’re really very lucky.”
The couple has a very important message and they want many people to hear it.
Jake recalls the reaction they’ve gotten from society, saying, “When it came out, we were amazed that we received nothing except positivity. It was very encouraging how much love and support we received. But the book feels so revealing and permanent. Everyone talks about trans people, but there are no human stories.
All we see are sweeping generalizations, misinformation, and fabrications. I know about the power of storytelling from my filmmaking, and we’ve got this story to tell to change public opinion and make it easier for the next generation of trans kids, who hopefully won’t have as tough a time as we did.”
They both say that they “balance each other quite well” and feel lucky to have found each other. The couple shares the same values, especially when it comes to parenting.
“We want them to be happy, and hope they’ll grow up without any of the difficulties we had,” says Jake. “Whoever they are — or whatever they are — we will support and love them regardless, because that’s what parenting is all about.”
And here’s yet another inspiring love story about an interabled couple who rock their love life despite all of the naysayers. And they even plan to have a baby soon.
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