A woman has shared her simple tips for people who are sick of dating apps and want to meet men “in the wild.”
Hana Elson, 26 (@hana.elson), delivers advice online for the single sisterhood in the city and wants to help them swipe right in real life.
There are more single women than ever in the U.S., with 52 percent of women unmarried or separated in 2021, according to Wells Fargo Economics.
As more women embrace being the liberty of being alone, Elson shared her advice for how to meet a man out and about, whether you are looking for a long term fix or a fun date, in a video captioned “for my anti dating app people, plenty of dating hacks for you too,” which amassed 17,500 likes and 275,400 views.
Hana dished out some invaluable dating advice for women who are tired of the apps
@hana.elson/@hana.elson
Elson told Newsweek: “Essentially, I started realizing in my own life when I was giving advice to friends or any time I felt exhausted, drained, not interested in dating, it was a fun little thing to talk about at the very least on TikTok.
“Girls just wanted to talk about the initial approach and what are you doing to get the date and how to facilitate your own meet cute.”
A meet cute is a scene in a movie where two characters meet for the first time before they go on to develop a romantic relationship, according to Cambridge Dictionary.
Elson explained the first step is to plan a night out with one or two girlfriends, not a big group, and arrive with open energy.
Next, you have to make eye contact with a man you are attracted to and see if it is reciprocated.
She explained in the video: “If you hold eye contact and get like a little bit creepy with it, and they are looking back you know they’re single or else they’re a terrible person and usually they’ll do it for you and approach.
“Maybe they’re in a group or something you see them go off into a less intimidating environment with one another.”
A bar is an ideal place to spark a conversation, as a lot of single people are ‘out and about’, Hana said
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The next step, after the approach, is a simple question.
Elson admitted she hadn’t dated anyone for a while and is happily enjoying the single life of a city girl, but said when she was fresh out of a relationship, she had a lot of “newly single confidence” so would be bold and ask if they were single straight away.
She said: “I would go up to a man and just ask the question ‘hi, are you single?’ which jumped to the meet cute.”
If the eye contact is sustained, you could also go in with an obvious or simple question such as—”can you pass me that straw?”
Elson said she secured a date when out with a girlfriend after asking a man “is it your friend’s birthday party?” she already knew the answer was yes.
Any simple question is fair game to strike the first interaction, Elson advised.
Some women asked Elson if you have to drive the entire conversation as they were skeptical of “tapping into their masculine energy.”
She said: “A big comment I always get is once you approach, do you have to drive the entire conversation? It’s very easy to hold back and stroke their ego for just a second and then let them take the lead.”
Elson has set up six meet cutes through this tried and tested method.
Other ways women can initiate their own meet cutes is by going out alone—which can seem daunting at first.
She said a good starting place is to go to a bar a bit before meeting your friends and sitting “unplugged”—without being on your phone—to potentially initiate a flirtation.
Elson said the best time to practice talking to guys is whilst traveling, where you feel freer and less affected by the fear of rejection.
For best spots for a meet cute, Elson said any bar or restaurant space with a walk through bar can be great—she said Jean’s on 415 Lafayette Street was the perfect spot to practice this move.
“I think being single in New York, and any big city, you can have a lot of fun with it and enjoy the moment by getting to know people around you if you’re not at the stage of searching to settle down,” she added.
Amber Brooks, the chief editor of DatingNews.com, offered her verdict on how to attract a man in the wild and described Elson’s advice as “the art of approach.”
The art of approach, walking up to a stranger and trying to creating a conversation that leads to a conversation or romantic spark, is scary, Brooks explained.
She said: “That’s the bad news: It’s a little terrifying. The good news is that approaching date prospects is a learnable skill, and the more you practice it, the better you’ll get.
“You can start with eye contact—the old ‘saw them across a crowded room’ strategy. That’ll catch attention for sure, and you’ll know the interest is reciprocated when their eyes linger on you instead of glancing away immediately.”
A common conversation opener is offering to buy the prospective romantic interest a drink if you find yourself in a bar or party.
Though the expert advised to adjust your approach depending on what environment you are in.
She said: “Ask about the setting. Use your surroundings as an icebreaker. You don’t need to be clever; you need to be curious. What brings this person here? What are their interests?
“What can you infer about them from how they’re dressed or who they’re with? There isn’t a secret sauce or a magic line that’ll work every time. It hinges on your authentic vibe.”
Brooks said her husband initiated conversation with her initially by asking what her favorite Batman movie was.
The question does not have to be deep, it just has to be engaging and open up the possibility of a two-way conversation.
She advised: “Keep your eye contact game going strong, and be ready to ask follow-up questions. That’s how you get to know someone IRL. And if it sounds easy, that’s because it actually is.”
In the cases somebody turns out not to be single, or not interested, the experience is valuable for the time, the dating expert explained.
“The people who succeed in approaching dates have the courage and confidence to risk a few noes in hopes of finding a yes. The best advice I can give: Just go for it,” added Brooks.
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