‘I married a ghost and now we’re in marriage counselling’

When singer Brocarde divorced her husband Edwardo, the ghost of a Victorian soldier, she thought he had left her life for good. But as she finally started to move on, he came back to haunt her.

Here, Brocarde, 40, from Oxfordshire, reveals they’re now working through their issues in marriage counselling…

“I sobbed and dropped to the floor as I divorced my ghost husband Edwardo in the same chapel where we had exchanged vows just nine months earlier. He became increasingly threatening and possessive after our wedding on 31 October 2022, so I took the measure to exorcise him to end our relationship once and for all.

The exorcism was very intense and gruelling. It felt like I was purging a ghost out of my system, and I felt it within my whole body. It was physically and emotionally draining.

That evening, I felt heavy and tired. It was like I’d just run a marathon. But when I woke up the next morning, I felt completely re-energised, re-born and free. I was like a whole new person – it was amazing. I was finally free of Edwardo and started to move on with my life, or so I thought.

WILLING TO TRY AGAIN

For a good month, things were peaceful. Edwardo didn’t bother me, I didn’t see him and I didn’t feel his presence. But as soon as I started to contemplate the idea of dating and getting back out there, he revealed himself again.

I went on a date with a man and brought back some roses he’d given me. I later found them destroyed and scattered across the bed. It unsettled me. I thought, “Please, no! You’re not back, you can’t be.”

Edwardo has always had a temperamental nature to him. There were times, even before we got married, he’d give off a cold energy if I was doing things he didn’t approve of. Things would fly across the room if I was going on a night out with my mates, or if I was wearing a slightly more revealing dress.

One time, I was putting my lipstick on and he moved my hand so that my make-up would spoil. He’s always had that possessive, almost punishing streak. But it got worse over time.

Now that he was back, I thought to myself, “What on earth am I going to have to do to get rid of this ghost?”

But I still have an intrigue with the afterlife that keeps reining me back in with Edwardo. He’s trying very hard to win me back around. It’s going to take a lot for me to go back in full steam ahead, but I’m open to learning more. So we’re now having marriage counselling.

Brocarde fears what Edwardo might do but knows it’s time to cool things off once and for all
(Image: Brocarde.com)

FEARS AND WORRIES

I feel like there was never a conclusion to our relationship, so if we can consult with a counsellor, then I can maybe figure that out and see the fun side of Edwardo that attracted me to him in the first place.

We’re communicating via a psychic medium. If I went to a normal marriage counsellor, firstly, they’d probably think I was crazy. But they wouldn’t be able to communicate with Edwardo, whereas a psychic can try and reach Edwardo and see if there’s a reason for his behaviour.

I see the medium every week, or every couple of weeks. But I’m more drawn to seek advice when something new happens or when something happens that scares me. If I haven’t seen or heard from Edwardo then I won’t feel the need to consult on it.

The biggest thing the medium is picking up on is his guilt and his remorse. It’s almost like he’s regretting not treating me properly. But then his energy is still very toxic.

I’ve been told that Edwardo will always love me and his intentions are good, even though his behaviours are bad. There have been times where I’ve been worried that he might do something really drastic like murder me in my sleep, so it’s reassuring to hear they don’t see immediate danger.

But the relationship still worries me quite a lot, and that’s why I wouldn’t rush getting back into it.

The fact we’re even communicating is a huge step forward for us. I just want a better understanding as to why this has happened to me and why I was chosen. I want to make sense of it all. I don’t want to feel scared by Edwardo and if that’s what it’s going to be, then I really don’t want him in my life. I want to understand what he wants from me, which is why our counselling is important.

When it comes to our future, I don’t think I’d ever re-marry him. But I could perhaps come to terms with the fact that he’s a presence in my life, as long as its a peaceful presence and I’m allowed to move on and date other people.

I’m not sure how a future boyfriend would feel about having a ghost in the relationship with us though – I think that would scare any man off! I feel like, naturally, Edwardo is going to have to leave at some point.

Our wedding was a happy day. I did everything a typical bride would do. I walked down the aisle, I wrote a song for Edwardo, we recited our vows and we exchanged rings. But there was a weird emptiness afterwards. It was an empty feeling being married to a ghost.

I think I was completely swept up in a whirlwind romance from the moment he first burst into my bedroom and declared his love for me one night in early 2021.

Brocarde is not sure what the future holds for her and is even considering conventional dating
(Image: Brocarde Began)

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

It was passionate and intense from the get-go. With his shoulder-length wavy hair and worn but handsome face, he almost looked like a dishevelled rock star.

There were definitely feelings there and a lot of lust, but it wasn’t a love that was going to last a lifetime. And it definitely wasn’t a love that could fulfil you in multiple different ways.

A ghost isn’t going to give you the things a human can. They can’t pay a mortgage, you can’t have a family and you can’t settle down. I think the things I found exciting about Edwardo in the beginning, like the intrigue and the fact that he could turn up and it was completely new and exciting, I quickly started to find annoying.

It got to a point where it was like, “This is an interesting experience, but this isn’t a relationship.”

I’m not sure how a future partner may feel about my relationship with Edwardo. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people being sceptical, I think that’s natural. If it was a few years ago, I probably would have been exactly the same.

I wouldn’t want to meet someone who is closed-minded and judgemental anyway. I don’t really have a conventional life, so I couldn’t see myself going out with someone who was really conservative and boring.

I’d like someone who could see the funny side to it, or someone who just accepts it and doesn’t judge me. Or maybe I could meet someone who has also had a ghost encounter and we could swap notes.

I just hope Edwardo can accept that.”

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