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Linzi Kavanagh, 47, a divorce coach from Glasgow, talks about her journey to happiness after she parted ways with her ex-husband of 16 years….
“The initial period after my split was utter hell, it was so terrifying and overwhelming. What’s really difficult is that you have to make all of these huge impactful decisions like finances, co-parenting and the divorce settlement while you’re in massive emotional turmoil,” Linzi tells us.
The 47-year-old, who is a mother-of-three, had been a stay-at-home mum during the marriage so she was also facing other problems like debt and realising that she had no savings either.
She says: “I just knew I had to pull my life together for the sake of the children so I went back to university at the same time as my daughter.
“At one point I was working full-time and studying for five separate qualifications to give myself an opportunity to better financially support my children.
Here, we speak to Linzi Kavanagh, 47, a divorce coach from Glasgow, who talks about her own journey to happiness after she parted ways with her ex-husband of 16 years….
Although Linzi was getting financial support from her ex-husband and co-parenting with him, she was tied into lots of contracts for certain things that she couldn’t afford.
It was during this time that she realised there was lots of legal and practical advice for people going through divorce out there but not much to help with mental health.
“I had such a strong gut feeling that this was the work I was meant to be doing and that this was how good could come out of my horrendous divorce experience.
“I knew I wanted to create a community for women with resources and a space to support them through separation and divorce,” she explains.
Seven months after the split, Linzi decided to change her mindset and make the most of the present, focusing on herself and her kids future
Seven months after the split, Linzi decided to change her mindset and make the most of the present, focusing on herself and her kids future.
She explains: “I stopped obsessing on the past and him and tried to make sense of building my future. I knew I had to create hope for myself and that was the first building block that better days were coming and I wouldn’t feel this way forever.”
Linzi, who also has a psychology degree, has since become a divorce coach and offers support to other women, also creating a premium coaching programme called Dazzle After Divorce.
This helps women emotionally heal after divorce and empowers them to build a life and future better than they could have imagined.
Linzi, who also has a psychology degree, has since become a divorce coach
She says: “If anybody had told me the day after my husband walked out or a year after that I would have my own successful business and that I’d have bought a four bedroom for myself and my kids and be going on lovely holidays I’d have laughed in their faces because there’s no way I had that income.
“This is so much more than I could have imagined. I’ve really reconnected to the woman who was hiding away all those years in the marriage.
“I was very sheltered and secure and while it was terrifying for all that to be ripped away from me, it’s caused me to find my voice and become independent and confident.”
Linzi has even found love again after her divorce and has a long-term partner, something which was possible after she became happy in herself.
“Finding someone new was the icing on the cake. It wasn’t the be all and end all and it wasn’t what I was focused on. When I got comfortable in my own company, love found me,” she says.
Linzi has even found love again after her divorce and has a long-term partner
Linzi’s tips after divorce Get comfortable stepping out of your comfort zone
Linzi says: “Don’t be afraid of failing. You should see failure as feedback and its showing you what works and doesn’t work.
Create hope
Practicing gratitude is a good way of creating hope after divorce. Linzi says that it can help to shift your mindset if you choose to write down what you are grateful for.
Question yourself
Allowing yourself to see that you have the power to change things is very important, according to Linzi. She adds: “It was all about what I can do, see and change instead of sitting in the victim mode.” Linzi also used the experience to think about things she could teach her children and how she could be a positive example to them.
Start journalling
“I started to write down everything jampacked in my overwhelmed brain. It is one of the best things women can do to understand all the conflicting emotions you go through in divorce”, Linzi says.
Check out Linzi’s website and courses including Dazzle After Divorce here: https://www.linzikavanagh.com/
Check out her Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/linzikavanaghcoaching/?hl=en
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