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My husband Rob and I gazed at each other in utter disbelief. Triplets! What? That’s ridiculous – I couldn’t possibly be pregnant with three babies.
Rob turned to the gynaecologist and said, “It’s April 10th not April Fool’s Day – don’t joke.” But he replied, “I never joke about triplets.”
Even one baby would have been a shock. I was paraplegic after a car accident and my life-changing spinal injuries meant I had no feeling from the waist down. Doctors had told me I wouldn’t be able to have children.
Rob and I had been astonished when I fell pregnant naturally with our first child, Scarlett. But triplets? Wow! As the news started to sink in, we felt nervous – but excited, too.
Then one morning, when I was 26 weeks pregnant, I woke up feeling exhausted. Rob was at work, and as I went to have a shower I got the shock of my life. Taking my clothes off, I saw a baby in my underwear.
Only he didn’t look like a baby. More like a bird or kitten. He was a strange colour and so tiny. I was terrified and had no idea what to do. I told Scarlett, then three, to wake up my 13-year-old stepson.
“Go wake up Josh and tell him to come quickly. I need him to help me. There’s a baby.” Scarlett and Josh came running back. Scarlett was standing outside the bathroom with a look of horror on her face.
Scarlett and her baby brothers
As Josh tried to help with the first baby there was a gush and another baby came out and slid across the bathroom floor. Then Josh shouted, “There’s another baby hanging upside down by his umbilical cord. What do I do? I don’t want to be a doctor.”
But he tried to help me and called for an ambulance and phoned Rob and my parents. “Dad, the babies are here,” he said, panicking.
Rob arrived home within five minutes. The first thing he saw was Scarlett, wide-eyed with astonishment, standing by the blankets and towels. “Mummy’s having babies,” she said.
We all rushed to hospital where the babies were whisked away to neonatal intensive care. But there was more to come. My stomach felt really sore.
As a doctor examined me, a fourth baby came flying out. Quads? Four babies? What on earth? We’d had no idea. But we didn’t have time to process the news. All four babies were fighting for their lives – and they didn’t even have names yet.
We decided to name the baby who arrived first Gabriel. He weighed 1,060g. Bradley weighed 825g, Daniel 805g, and Harvey 1,100g.
Scarlet tells the carers where the boys’ toys are and has a special bond with them all
(Image: Gemma Day www.gemmaday.com)
KEEP FIGHTING
My heart sank as I saw them each rigged up to ventilators, tubes, wires and machines. They’d all had brain bleeds and their skin was so fragile we couldn’t even touch them.
I felt so helpless and each day was scary – we had no idea what would happen. All we could do was celebrate each day they pulled through.
But when Bradley was just 16 days old, we got a phone call telling us to come straight to the hospital. When we arrived doctors were performing CPR. Rob begged them to keep trying but it was no use.
Organising Bradley’s cremation was the hardest thing we’ve ever done. But we had no time to grieve as we had three warriors in hospital and older kids at home.
Instead we promised each other to just take one day at a time and to be grateful for every moment we had with them.
Scarlett helps Chantel and Rob care for the boys
(Image: Gemma Day www.gemmaday.com)
Our three boys were our heroes. Each day I’d tell them, “Keep fighting. You can make it.” And they did. Harvey was first to come home after three months in hospital, followed by Gabriel two weeks later.
In total Daniel spent 171 days in hospital – he had hydrocephalus [fluid on the brain] and needed an operation and 24/7 oxygen.
It was incredible to have them all home for their first Christmas. But as time went by we started to notice they weren’t reaching typical milestones.
They weren’t sitting up or developing “normally”. We began to see specialists who mentioned developmental delay. We thought that meant they’d catch up eventually.
It was a huge shock when, aged two- and- a-half, all three boys were diagnosed with profound cerebral palsy. I felt like I’d been shot in the stomach.
My world came crashing down. Hadn’t we been through enough? How would we cope?
FORMIDABLE TEAM
But I decided never to think that way again. I swallowed back my tears and heartache and thought, “I can’t change the past but I can choose our future.”
The boys are now eight and go to a specialist school near our home in Poole, Dorset, and need full-time care. They are non-verbal, cannot walk or feed themselves and are in nappies.
Our days are planned with military precision and involve late nights, early mornings and a lot of coffee. It can take two hours to get the boys ready for school. But Rob and I are a formidable team.
We help and support each other. The triplets are very happy, bubbly little boys who are already doing more than anyone thought possible. They love bath time, swimming and trampolining.
Our goals for the future are for them to be able to eat, drink and brush their teeth on their own. If they are happy, then we are happy.
Daniel loves playing with cars, curtains and his parachute and has the most incredible infectious laugh. He is so cheeky. Harvey loves books, music and cooking in the kitchen. Gabriel is a big softy who loves cuddles – especially with Scarlett, now 10.
Scarlett, now 10, helped save the babies at birth
(Image: Gemma Day www.gemmaday.com)
Scarlett has a wonderful bond with all her brothers and helps us look after them. She shows carers where the medicines are kept and where their favourite toys are. And she sits with the boys while Rob has a shower.
But she has a particularly special relationship with Gabriel. She calms him in a way no one else can. She has also saved Harvey’s life on multiple occasions. Sometimes in the night she will wake us up, saying, “Mum, Dad, come quickly. Harvey is having a seizure.”
Her room is separate to his and she is a deep sleeper, but somehow she just senses when he is having a seizure. When the ambulance arrives she’ll sit with Gabriel and Daniel and make sure they’re ok.
It’s incredible to think she helped save her brothers’ lives when they were first born and is still doing it now. She’s phenomenal.
Twins Trust offers support to parents of twins, triplets or more, including a bereavement service. See twinstrust.org. The Disabled Children’s Partnership is a coalition of 100 organisations campaigning for improved health and social care for disabled children, young people and their families. See disabledchildrenspartnership.org.uk
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