Sue Johnson (1947-2024): Pioneering uOttawa psychologist founded 'emotionally focused therapy'

Published Apr 28, 2024 • Last updated 1 hour ago • 4 minute read

Couples therapist Sue Johnson, seen her in 2010, was author Hold Me Tight and founded the Ottawa Couple and Family Institute. She died April 23 in Victoria, B.C. Photo by Bruno Schlumberger /POSTMEDIA

Sue Johnson told the story of how as a child she would sit in the dark on the stairs of her family’s home in England listening to her parents fight.

“Why do they do this?” she asked her grandmother.

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“Because they love each other,” was the reply.

Johnson, who died on Tuesday in Victoria, B.C., related that story in her best-selling 2008 book, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Whether it was that experience that propelled her into the field of couples’ therapy — “I was on fire about helping people change,” she once said — not even Johnson could say for sure.

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But Johnson’s groundbreaking research at the University of British Columbia and at the University of Ottawa, where she was professor emeritus, revolutionized views on adult relationships and the nature of romantic love.

“Her influence is going to remain for generations to come. She really has revolutionized psychotherapy,” said Gail Palmer, who met Johnson when they worked together on the family therapy team at what is now the Civic Campus of The Ottawa Hospital. In 1999, they founded the Ottawa Couple and Family Institute along with Johnson’s husband, John Douglas, and colleague Alison Lee.

“Sue was larger than life. Her brilliance alone was amazing to witness,” Palmer recalled in a phone interview from Victoria.

Sue Johnson was born in 1947 in Kent, England, where her parents managed a pub. She was 11 when her parents divorced, an event that left her devastated. Eager to leave England and its rigid class structure, she emigrated to Canada at age 22, arriving with $60 in her pocket. After her doctoral research at UBC led her toward couples’ therapy, she landed a job as a professor of psychology at uOttawa.

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Johnson pioneered what became known as emotionally focused therapy, which examines adult relationships in much the same way as one might see a child-parent bond.

“She dedicated her life to developing the model for EFT and seeing it spread around the world,” Palmer said.

“It was bringing emotions into psychotherapy, which was revolutionary, then making those emotions make sense,” she said.

“It’s really about getting to the heart of the matter, helping people express from their inside, from their vulnerability. What’s driving the negative patterns that couples get caught in? When you can see that vulnerability in your partner, you’re going to respond.”

Johnson expressed the concept of EFT in her own words in Hold Me Tight:

“Underneath all the distress, partners are asking each other: Can I count on you? Are you there for me? Will you respond to me when I need, when I call? Do I matter to you? Am I valued and accepted by you?”

When first developed in the 1970s and ’80s however, EFT was not well-received, particularly coming from a woman in a male-dominated field.

“Sue was fierce. Being a woman wasn’t always easy. I think there were a couple of times where male leaders in the field took her on. But she never backed down. She never gave up,” Palmer said.

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“Emotions weren’t trusted. It was all about controlling your emotions and only relying on your cognitions. In terms of attachment, in those days it was all about self-differentiation and autonomy. As an adult, to depend on another, was seen as childish and immature.”

EFT is now used in counselling clinics around the world. Palmer has used it in her own family therapy work, including in the Canadian Arctic where, she says, it can help heal the wounds of intergenerational trauma.

“When I was teaching at Oxford, one of the students stood up at the end of the lecture and said, ‘You know, I’ve learned a lot of techniques in my studies and they’re like tools in my tool belt. But EFT is like the tool shed,” Palmer recalled.

“I just thought that just beautifully illustrated EFT.”

Away from work, Johnson enjoyed dancing, gardening and, of course, her family. She was a voracious reader and possessed a wicked sense of humour. Palmer wondered what people at the Civic Hospital thought of the laughter emanating from the family therapy clinic “after Sue said something outrageous.”

In 2016, Johnson was made a member of the Order of Canada, an honour that made her break down in tears when she received the news. In 2022, she received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Psychotherapy Network.

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Hold Me Tight has sold over a million copies and been translated into 30 languages. In 2023, it was among seven titles recommended by the New York Times to “make your relationship stronger.” More recently, Johnson’s first work of fiction. Edgar and Elouise “for kids from 9 to 90 years olds”, uses animals, each with its own quirks and foibles, to tell a saga of emotional growth.

Johnson died April 23 after a three-year battle with cancer. She is survived by her husband, John, and children Sarah, Tim and Emma.

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