The 'Golden Wedding' Is the Most Revolutionary Reality TV Event in Decades

WHEN THE BACHELOR DEBUTED in March 2002, no one could have imagined that it would become a spin-off-spawning, reality-TV colossus. In addition to twenty-seven seasons and counting of the original franchise—a twenty-eighth season begins later this month—loyal viewers have been treated to twenty seasons of The Bachelorette and nine seasons of Bachelor in Paradise. It’s a formula that works—a television franchise built on the compelling combination of high emotion, connection, disappointment, and the triumph of love.

And after more than two decades of sustained success, last year the producers finally developed a Bachelor spin-off geared toward a massive audience eager for its own version of the show: people over age sixty. The Golden Bachelor, which premiered in September, featured Gerry Turner, seventy-two, a widower from Indiana. He met twenty-two romance-seeking women between the ages of sixty and seventy-five in his quest for love. In the series finale, which drew some of the highest ratings for the franchise in years, Turner proposed to seventy-year-old Theresa Nist. Their nuptials will air as a live special called The Golden Wedding on Jan. 4 on ABC.

“When you are younger, you are more concerned with family expectations and who will be a good partner as you build a career,” Gerry Turner, 72, tells Esquire. “When you are older, it is more about values and character and how someone makes you feel.’”

Florence Sullivan

The arrival of The Golden Bachelor—not to mention its strong audience numbers—is an overdue sign of recognition by the TV industry that there is a major trend emerging in this country. Some 10,000 Americans are turning sixty-five every day, and many of them are single. By 2030, there will be more Americans over sixty-five than under eighteen and they’re not ready to give up on love.

According to an ABC spokesperson, nearly 30,000 individuals applied to be on the show. It became a hit, delivering the largest audience (7.13 million) for any series in the entire Bachelor franchise since March 2020. The total audience for the finale jumped to 9.42 million viewers after seven days of viewing on linear and streaming platforms.

The Golden Bachelor reinforced the idea that we all want romance, love, and intimacy regardless of how we old we become. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 46.4 percent of all adults are single. That’s 117 million eligible partners. And they’re ready to mingle: According to a Pew Research Center report on single Americans, forty-nine percent of all single adults report that they’re looking to date. For men over forty, the number grows to fifty-five percent.

“So many people have told me that I have given them hope,” Theresa Nist, 70, says.

Florence Sullivan

Dating sites targeting people over fifty, such as Zoosk, eHarmony, and Silver Singles, are proliferating. One of my best friends, at fifty-five, used a matchmaking service and is now engaged to her sixty-year-old fiancé. Another friend just got remarried at eighty-eight years old.

It’s the human condition to want connection, and with The Golden Bachelor the idea that love has no age limit has finally come out of the closet. Spoiler alert: People over sixty and seventy and even eighty still want active sex lives, too!

In a highly emotional final episode, Turner gave a rose to Nist, a widow, mother, and grandmother from New Jersey, who works in the financial services industry. She stole his heart from the other finalist, a sixty-four-year-old fitness instructor named Leslie Fhima.

Turner and Nist paid a visit to the Esquire offices to talk about their experience on The Golden Bachelor and more. Their chemistry and newfound love for each other was noticeable from the start. Throughout our interview, they smiled at each other, held hands, and were excited that they had found love again at this stage of their life.

Here are edited excerpts from our conversation (including some annotations to their answers):

Esquire: How does it feel to be national role models for love and romance at age seventy?

Nist: I certainly didn’t expect it, and it is an incredible responsibility. So many people have told me that I have given them hope. I am on Instagram and many people have reached out to me there via direct messages. (Nist started with forty-six followers and is now at over 92,000, while Turner went from zero to 124,000 followers during the run of the show.)

Turner: My friend from childhood who I played Little League with never dated again after his wife died. When he started watching the show, he reached out and told me that he now wanted to date again. Impacting people in a positive way to find love again is very gratifying.

Florence Sullivan

Esquire: You were both widowed—Theresa, nine years ago, and Gerry, more than six years ago. Did you have in the back of your mind that you wanted another relationship someday?

Nist: When my husband died, my initial reaction was, “I’ll never be in love again or in a relationship again. I’m done.” After eighteen months of heavy grieving, I told my daughter, “I’d just like to have dinner with a man sometime.” And she put me on Match.com but nothing really came of it.

Turner: I was also grieving for eighteen months or so, but then I wanted to date. But I also wanted to find some permanence. I was meant to be with someone. After two and a half years, I ended up going to a grief counselor, who assured me that I was fine. It’s a mysterious thing coming out of grief, but I began to know when I was ready to date again.

Esquire: How is it that you decided to apply to become a part of The Golden Bachelor?

Nist: My daughter suggested it. I filled out a long questionnaire in October 2022 and didn’t hear anything until February 21, 2023, when I was told that I was selected.

Turner: Same with me. My daughters urged me to apply, so I decided to do it.

Florence Sullivan

Esquire: Were you nervous, apprehensive, excited when you heard that you were selected?

Nist: I was excited, but it was a very thorough vetting process. I was told that I was moving to the next step and then the next step, but I didn’t find out until the show was about to start. The actual show is less than a month.

We started filming on August 3 and it was wrapped up on August 31 when Gerry proposed. (The final episode aired on November 30, so Theresa and Gerry relied on phone calls to stay in touch during those three months.)

Esquire: How does attraction to another person change later in life? Is it different?

Turner: It’s a very different dynamic. When you are younger, you are more concerned with family expectations and who will be a good partner as you build a career. When you are older, it is more about values and character and how someone makes you feel. When I first met Theresa on the show, she had this instant ability to make me feel calm. When she put her hand on my shoulder, I felt that. It is a moment that I remember.

Nist: When you are younger, you think about the person that you want to start a family with. In later life, it is more about heart, soul, spirit, integrity. For me, I wanted that in a potential partner, along with someone who had self-confidence and was not a pushover.

Esquire: Give some advice for people in their fifties, sixities, or seventies who want to start dating again. What did you do to get ready to date? New fitness regimen, wardrobe, botox?

Turner: Nothing special. If I don’t emote the qualities that I have, regardless of what I’m wearing, then I’m doing a bad job presenting myself.

Nist: I’ve had a lifelong commitment to health and nutrition, so I concentrated on other things. I told myself to be open and remind myself that when I went on a date, I should have a great time and also make it an enjoyable time for the other person. If they are at ease, they will be their authentic self. If someone is ready to date, tell everyone in your life that you are looking for someone. Also, you never know if you go to a language class or go back to school, you may meet someone. Even if you meet another woman, she may have a friend.

The author, Michael Clinton, with Turner and Nist.

Florence Sullivan

Turner: Go to church and talk to people there or find a new sport like pickleball. You’ll develop a new circle of friends. There are more and more single people. Some people who may not know they are ready, may need a little nudge from someone who is really cute like Theresa.

Esquire: How about online dating?

Nist: Yes, go online. I was on Match.com and had a whole system worked out.

Turner: I was on Zoosk and I dated a woman who I’m still friends with.

Esquire: Let’s talk about logistics. You met, you fell in love, and now you are getting married? Gerry, you live in Indiana and Theresa, you live in New Jersey. How will that work? Also, what about assets and family dynamics?

Turner: We have put a lot of emphasis on being equal partners. It is one of the fundamental building blocks that we have created, whether it is financial decisions or decisions on things like the wedding music. We are finding each other’s strengths in each area. Theresa knows a lot more about music than me.

Nist: I learned on the first date that Gerry was willing to move, so we are flexible with each other. We are both willing to move to a different location.

Turner: We both agree that Theresa won’t move to my house, and I won’t move to her house. It’s got to be a new start. It’s got to be Theresa and Gerry’s house that we start together.

Esquire: Let’s talk about that rock on Theresa’s finger, the wedding dress, and what we might see on Thursday night?

Turner: I met with Neil Lane [a jeweler who works on The Bachelor series]. He asked me a lot of questions about Theresa, and I told him that she has many complex layers to her, and he showed me the ring that is now hers.

Nist: My daughter and daughter-in-law, Gerry’s two daughters, and two women from the show all came to the store to advise me on the wedding gown. I had them all pick out their favorite dress from a rack of gorgeous wedding gowns. I tried them all on and when the right dress was there, they were all in unison on the right one that I bought.

Turner: I think I’ll be traditional, wearing an outfit that I wish I could have worn fifty-five years ago but couldn’t afford! Probably have a bow tie.

Nist has a son and a daughter, and six grandsons and Turner has two daughters and two granddaughters, and they will all be in the wedding. While the location has not been disclosed, the plan is to have the wedding in Southern California and the theme will be traditional with a touch of glamour. Theresa has come up with one hundred and twenty songs that will create the playlist. While they have talked about moving to South Carolina, Turner has also been enjoying his time in New Jersey, so stay tuned on where they finally settle. If you are in Italy this summer, you may see them on their honeymoon, a special gift from The Golden Bachelor producers.

When I asked them why they decided to get married at all, they looked at each other and said that they both like the idea of commitment. They have both been in long-term relationships in the past, and they wanted to do it again. And since they’re both healthy, they could easily have another twenty or thirty years of life together.

While ABC has not yet announced that they will renew The Golden Bachelor, they would be smart to do so. There are already multiple competitive shows in development, including a new midlife dating series called Is There Still Sex in the City? being created by author Candace Bushnell, who also wrote the original book that led to the hit HBO show Sex and the City.

The time has come to acknowledge that we’re all craving human connection and intimacy at all ages, and we need more role models on television and in real life to show us how it’s done. Long live love and romance!

You can watch The Golden Wedding live this Thursday, January 4, at 8 pm ET on ABC.