Over recent days, Michelle Elman has worn her heart on her sleeve for people across the world to see. After uploading a video to social media, the body confidence coach and author racked up hundreds of thousands of views as she revealed that she had been engaged for just one day before discovering that her partner had been unfaithful.
“All this f***ing sucks, I was engaged for 24 hours,” she said as she cradled a mug in her hands. “I don’t know how to make this video so I’m just going to get into it. The last you heard from me I was engaged and I’m not anymore.”
Michelle Elman has opened up about discovering her partner’s infidelity just 24 hours after getting engaged
(Image: Ken McKay/ITV/REX/Shutterstock)
Having previously appeared on This Morning to provide advice for people at home, Michelle switched roles as she joined Cat Deeley and Ben Shephard on the sofa where she opened up about her split. But as she spoke about her experience, a few things shone through – namely her resilience, positivity and grace.
“It’s like a bank account. He’s poured all this love in, in the form of coins, for three years. The cheating drained the bank account, but it means I’m not leaving the relationship in debt. I’m so grateful for the last three years,” she tells OK!.
“I’ve been going through the worst health and he’s held my hand through that. My dad’s been in hospital, he’s held my hand through that. It doesn’t eradicate the love.”
For Michelle, baring her soul on social media was a natural reaction. As someone who first began to grow her social media following back in 2015, the How To Say No author says that she didn’t want to “fake” anything she was putting out online.
Michelle says she’s “grateful” for the three-year relationship that she had
(Image: Instagram / Michelle Elman)
“I don’t know how to not be myself. I don’t want to have to fake it online. It takes more energy and more work for me to have to put a mask on and pretend that I’m OK when I’m not than it is to actually just be vulnerable,” she says.
“We need to remove the shame around infidelity. It does not mean that you are an idiot who missed all the signs.”
While any heartbreak is difficult to process, the seriousness of their relationship made it harder, says Michelle. Prior to discovering her partner’s infidelity, they had been “trying for a baby for months” as they hoped to start a family together. And having discovered her partner’s infidelity just one day after getting engaged, the timing made telling loved ones about the end of their engagement even more difficult.
“I was arriving home to congratulations cards. For weeks, every time my phone buzzed it was a congratulation. I hadn’t said anything publicly, so every day I just responded to two messages. That’s all I could deal with for three weeks was two messages a day,” Michelle explains.
Since going public with her story, Michelle has been in brief contact with her former partner as they navigate their breakup. And, despite it all, she credits their previous relationship as teaching her “so much” about what love is.
Michelle wants to help remove the shame that surrounds infidelity
(Image: Ken McKay/ITV/REX/Shutterstock)
“This relationship gave me the first glimpse of what a healthy relationship looks like. There’s a really big learning curve with that, like living with someone and being able to navigate difficult conflicts, which we did for the last three years. One of the things I used to say about him the most was that we handled conflicts really well,” she says.
“I always say that the thing that makes a healthy or unhealthy relationship is if you grow together, you learn and that when you have a conflict, you actually address it and your behaviour changes. So you’re not repeating the same arguments over and over again. And we worked.”
Meanwhile, Michelle has been left in “awe” over the compassion shown to her since sharing her story. Whether it’s social media users leaving comments on her videos or the This Morning team cheering her on, Michelle stresses that her experience shouldn’t stop people from believing in love.
“The whole This Morning team is amazing. From the moment I walked in, Cat was just so compassionate, she came into the makeup room and gave me a massive hug. Ben said to me how brave I was, how courageous I was. They were so reassuring,” she says.
Michelle has praised the This Morning team for supporting her through this time
(Image: ITV)
“Before we went on air they were like, ‘You’ve got this. You’re going to be OK.’ When I left they were like, ‘We’ll see you soon and you’ll get to go back to doing your phone-ins’, which they know I love.”
And as she begins to move forward, Michelle is focusing on healing and has surrounded herself with friends and the This Morning team as she navigates this new chapter of her life.
“I’m on dating apps today. I might delete them all tomorrow, but right now it feels good to be going on dates very casually and relaxed, and I’m being very transparent around it. But I have to take it day by day because next week I might be really angry, the week after I might be crying and not want to leave my bed. I can’t pre empt the next stage I’m going through,” she admits.
“I’ve never been through this before, and so whatever comes, I’m being allowing and accepting of it. I’m also throwing myself back into work because I’ve not worked for three weeks and I miss it. I’ve basically put my life on pause for three weeks, and it’s good to have my people around me.”
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