Life in my hometown, which is located in the northern region of Ghana was not an easy one. Nonetheless, when I look back at those moments, I was happier. It was a simpler life. My family didn’t have so much going on in terms of money, but we were not impoverished. We worked hard to ensure that our basic needs were catered for. That’s one value my mother ensured she instilled into all her children. “If you work hard, you can at least afford a meal a day. You will also take pride in your work and your ability to take care of yourself. You won’t also envy what someone else has.” You could even say that Hard-work is my family’s middle name.
My mother did such a great job at raising us that, there is no work I cannot do. No matter what job you give me, I will work like a donkey. This was my life back home until I completed high school in 2016. I wanted more from life than I was offered at home. I wanted to pursue higher education, acquire some skills, and work a white-collar job like the men in the city did. Not that there weren’t people in the north with corporate jobs. There are many people I saw and admired. However, I wanted access to more opportunities. Where better to get all the connections than Accra?
When I discussed this with my mother, she gave me her blessings. That’s how I moved to Accra in search of greener pastures. It didn’t take long for me to get a job. Remember that I told you I could do any work with dedication? That’s what I did until I saved enough money to further my education. Even with that, I still needed help to secure my admission to the University of Education, Winneba. So my mother and my elder brother pitched in and I was able to start school. The joy I felt when I started pursuing my dreams is indescribable.
My optimism when I started school was unrivalled. Every morning I would tell myself, “I am doing this for my mother. I am going to make something out of myself so that I can make her proud in a few years.” I thought life was a straight path. Maybe it would have been if I hadn’t allowed myself to be derailed along the line.
While I was in school, I was doing some odd jobs on the side to earn money. That was until a friend introduced me to betting. He told me sometimes he would be broke but he would win a bet and get some money to cushion himself. I didn’t just take his word for it. I observed others too. I saw that they staked bets and won. “All you have to do is play a guessing game and win? Wow, there are easier ways to make money than hard work,” I concluded.
So I also started doing it. I entered into it wholly. Little did I know that I was taking a step into my doom. Everyone I knew was doing it moderately but when I got into it, I became completely hooked. Betting became the air I needed to survive. Try as I did, I couldn’t stop it. I wasn’t even winning. But the hope that I would win kept me going.
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I became so addicted to this thing that I even ate into my school fees. I used everything to bet but I did not win a dime. From there I started fabricating stories so I could borrow money from friends. I deceived people until they all lost trust in me. I lost so many close friends because of this. They just couldn’t believe someone of my kind would change so drastically. I was practically a scammer.
A few weeks ago I got arrested because I couldn’t repay a debt. I was locked up for six days. That was the turning point for me. I remember what my mother said when she found out what I was up to. She was almost in tears when she uttered the words, “Among all my children, you want to be the one that will kill me eh?” Those words were like a two-edged sword to my heart. I wept bitterly the entire day knowing I was a disappointment to the woman who gave me life.
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Right now, my mum is very sick. I am afraid that if the worst happens right now, my people will blame me for her death. It doesn’t even help matters that I had to drop out of school because of my addiction.
I spent days apologizing to my mother and promising her I would do better. She accepted it, but deep down I am not okay. I have realized that I talk to myself when I am walking alone or even sitting by myself. I have vowed never to indulge in such a shameful act again. But I need counseling and deliverance. I can feel am absolutely not okay. I feel like taking my life sometimes because I am such a failure. I know we have good people on this page. Please if you can, help me to get out of this frustration. I need to break free from this shackles and take control of my life again.
— Bright
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