DEAR DEIDRE: While I recovered from an operation, I had to move in with my daughter – and now she is taking over.
At 79, I may be a bit slower than I used to be but I’m mentally and physically able.
Still, she has told me that I’m not well enough to move back into my flat and says that we must sell it.
She’s always been so difficult. She’s 54 and has never been married.
She lived with me until 45 and I forgot how awkward she could be.
I want my independence back but my daughter says that’s not possible. She is a social worker but is the most horrible person I know.
She gets in from work and demands dinner. Then by 9pm, she tells me I must go to bed.
I have to pay for our shopping and now she wants my bank card, saying, “It’s better that I take care of it.”
She has stopped me from seeing my friends because “they live too far away”. I don’t like living with her. She’s awful.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Unless your daughter has a genuine reason to believe you’re not safe to live alone, you should be able to go back home.
Your letter is ringing loud alarm bells. I’m worried she is financially controlling you, if not abusing, and trying to isolate you.
You need urgent help. Approach Hourglass (wearehourglass.org, 0808 808 8141) which offers free advice to anyone who believes an elderly person is being abused.
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