Whenever I saw a video of someone getting rejected after proposing in public, I always thought that it was because they were too young and the man had rushed into the proposal. I came to learn that even if you had been dating for a million years if a woman wanted to embarrass you, she would. My ex threw away a 10-year relationship without even a simple explanation. To make matters worse, she broke up with me in public while proposing to her.
I was left with so many questions. How could a woman that I shared so many memories with turn to a heartless monster? Did I do something to make her reject me or was I simply not good enough for her? Had she found someone else? I will never know but one thing I knew for sure was that nobody threw away 10 years of dating without a good reason. I was determined to find out what had made Amanda walk away just like that and the answer was right in front of me all along.
The relationship was a dream come true for me. We may have been young but I knew Amanda was the love of my life and that I would walk down the aisle with her one day. However, it took a while for Amanda to realize that I was her dream guy.
When we met, it was obvious we came from different worlds. It was during one of our church’s youth trips. I was on the organizing committee and Amanda was simply going on the trip to make her parents happy.
“Hi, I haven’t seen you around before,” I said to her as soon as I spotted her.
“This is my first trip.”
“Lovely. You’re very welcome. Feel free to mingle and if you need anything I’m here.”
“Thanks.” She said then went to sit by herself at the back of the bus.
Once I was done welcoming everyone, I joined her and continued our conversation.
“I’m Ian.”
“I’m Amanda.”
“You look familiar.”
“Yeah, people say I look like my mum. She’s the church’s secretary.”
“Of course. Mrs. Kimani is a good friend of mine.”
As the day went by, I introduced her to a few people and she started coming out of her shell. By the end of the day, I knew she was my dream girl. She had all the qualities I liked. She was gorgeous, funny, sweet and smart. It was hard not to fall in love with her which was pretty evident since at the end of the trip, four of my friends asked me for her number.
“She’s mine,” I told them as a warning to stay away from her.
It took a lot of effort to woo Amanda. I didn’t give up hope though. I did everything to make her happy and eventually, she realized that I was a pretty good guy. When I was sure that we were on the same page, I asked her to be my girlfriend.
I took her on a picnic date which she really liked and as we enjoyed the scenery, I popped the question.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” I asked.
She looked surprised but after a short pause, she smiled and said, “Yes.”
That was the happiest day of my life and it was the beginning of a long and beautiful relationship. The first few years were easy. We were both in school so the pressures of life hadn’t started yet.
When we graduated, Amanda got a nice job that her parents organized for her as I struggled to even get an interview. Eventually, I decided to work for the church. It was at that moment that the differences in our lives began to show.
Within a year, Amanda had become a different person. She was a corporate girl who was quickly climbing the ranks. I, on the other hand, was stuck in the same position I was in since I graduated. I lived in the same bedsitter while Amanda moved out of her parents’ home and into a two-bedroom apartment nearby.
However, the differences didn’t affect our relationship or so I thought. Amanda still kept coming to my humble apartment and she appreciated the small gifts I got her.
“I’m going to the Maldives next month.” She said as I was preparing dinner for us at her apartment.
“Wow, I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks. Are you still working for the church?”
“Yes, dear, but I’m thinking of starting a business.”
“That’s nice. All the best.”
It took me years before I finally got my breakthrough. By that time, Amanda and I had broken up and reconciled dozens of times. She was always the one who ended things and was always the one who came back.
Things finally cooled down and since we had been dating for 9 years, I thought it was time to propose to her. I planned on proposing during our 10-year anniversary. It would also be a celebration of our personal achievements and I wanted all our friends and family to be there.
I spent almost Ksh 100,000 planning the party and that didn’t include the ring I was to use when proposing. Nonetheless, I wanted the best for her since she had stood by me for 10 years.
She didn’t know that I was planning on proposing to her during the event which was one of the biggest mistakes I made. Amanda hated surprises so I should have known that a surprise proposal was a bad idea.
We made our way to the venue where our friends and family were waiting for us. Everything was going smoothly, Amanda was having a great time, and then I called her on stage and put my plan in motion.
“May I please have your attention.” I started. “Amanda, you are my inspiration, my motivation and my true love. I never want to spend a day without you in my life. Will you marry me?”
At that moment, everything went silent. I could hear my own heartbeat and heavy breathing. I waited for what seemed like an eternity for Amanda to give me an answer but she pulled her hand away from me and ran off the stage.
People started murmuring but I was too focused on Amanda to figure out what was happening. It was only when I saw her driving off that I realized I had been rejected after proposing.
However, that wasn’t the issue. I thought that her nerves had gotten the best of her and that she would come back to me after a few days as she always did. She didn’t. I waited for a week before I went looking for her. However, she had told the security guard at her apartment not to let me in.
I was left with so many questions but eventually, I got the answers. It wasn’t that Amanda wasn’t ready for marriage. According to her friends, she didn’t want to get married at all. I don’t know how I didn’t realize that but I felt so guilty for embarrassing her like that in front of all our loved ones. However, I never got to know if she forgave me.
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