10 Ironic News Stories Straight out of an Alanis Morissette Song

10 Ironic News Stories Straight out of an Alanis Morissette Song

Irony, by definition, is a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what was or might be expected, an outcome cruelly, humorously, or strangely at odds with assumptions or expectations. Although Alanis Morissette’s 1995 hit track “Ironic” has sparked debate and reflection as to the nature of irony itself, there certainly are situations in the song that fit the definition of irony listed—winning the lottery only to die the next day and flying on an airplane for the first time only to have the plane crash.

While these situations are certainly not typical, what happens when reality begins to mirror the song lyrics in startlingly literal ways?

Imagine a person claiming their lottery winnings only to tragically die the next day, or a young doctor committed to finding a cure for a rare cancer, only to succumb to the same cruel fate he hoped to save his patients from, or someone robbing a bank to escape their spouse, only to be sentenced to home confinement due to a twist in legal proceedings. Naturally, such stories would seem to be nothing more than pure fiction. However, the real-life accounts in this list showcase the unpredictable ways that irony manifests itself in everyday life with both humor and tragedy.

Here are ten ironic (and tragic) news stories that could easily belong in an Alanis Morissette song.

Related: Ten Oddball News Stories out of Canada

10 Man Dies One Day after Claiming $2 Million Powerball Winnings

At one point or another, many of us have thought about just how different our lives would be if we won the lottery and dreamed of what we’d do with our winnings—buy our dream car, pay off debt, travel the world, or help those near and dear to our hearts.

Seventy-two-year-old Mark Krogman of Clinton, Iowa, was no different. He planned to use his lottery winnings to pay off his house, possibly add onto it, help his family with needed finances, and just enjoy life. The difference, however, between Krogman and everyday dreamers was that Krogman actually won a lottery prize. Unfortunately, in a tragic and ironic turn of events, he would never get to do all he hoped for with his winnings.

Krogman purchased a lottery ticket for the Powerball drawing on November 25, 2023. Players in a $2 Powerball select five numbers between 1 and 69 and another number—called the Powerball—from a separate set of numbers between 1 and 26. For an extra $1, a Power Play option is available, which can multiply non-jackpot prizes by 2, 3, 4, 5, or even 10 times the amount.

The winning numbers for that night’s drawing were 27-33-63-66-68 and a Powerball of 9. Krogman’s ticket matched the first five numbers drawn but did not match the Powerball number. However, Krogman had chosen to add the Power Play option to his ticket purchase, multiplying at the Match 5 level, meaning he won $2 million! In fact, Krogman’s ticket was the only one in the country to win a $2 million prize in that night’s drawing.

While it was known that there was a Powerball winner, the ticket went unclaimed for months, that is, until Krogman finally made his way to the Lottery headquarters on April 17, 2024. Unfortunately, the shock and joy of realizing he’d won was short-lived, as Krogman died on April 18, 2024, just one day after claiming his winnings. Although Krogman’s cause of death was not disclosed, his obituary stated he passed away peacefully at the University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics.[1]

9 Elderly Woman’s Life Claimed by Medical Device Meant to Save Her

A medical alert system can be either an in-home or wearable device—such as a necklace or bracelet with a help button—that allows a person to call for help should they fall, get confused or injured, or have a medical or healthcare emergency. Should such a situation arise, the person in need can simply press a help button rather than call 911, and from there, the monitoring center can assess the situation, alert loved ones, and dispatch emergency medical services to the home.

Eighty-six-year-old Roseann DiFrancesco of New Cumberland, Pennsylvania, had a medical alert necklace, but unfortunately, the device meant to save her life ultimately claimed it instead.

On February 15, 2016, a nurse came by to visit DiFrancesco but got no answer after knocking on the door. The nurse then entered the home but found DiFrancesco dead in her bathroom. The coroner later revealed that DiFrancesco was using her walker when she lost her balance and fell. Sadly, the lanyard of her medical alert necklace—which did not have a breakaway clasp—got caught on the handle of the walker, causing DiFrancesco’s upper torso to be suspended above floor level, strangling her to death.[2]

8 Man Robs Bank to Avoid Wife but Is Sentenced to House Arrest

70-Year-Old Robs Bank to Get Away from His Wife

On September 2, 2016, 70-year-old Lawrence John Ripple walked into the Bank of Labor in Kansas City, Kansas, and handed a teller a note that read, “I have a gun, give me money.” However, unlike most bank robbers, Ripple’s goal was not money; rather, he was hoping to go to jail to avoid being at home with his wife. Therefore, after the teller handed Ripple $2,924 in cash, he simply sat down in the lobby of the bank and waited for the police to arrive.

It didn’t take long for the police to arrive, given that the bank was just a block from police headquarters. When confronted by authorities, Ripple returned the money and was arrested.

So, what exactly happened between Ripple and his wife that drove him to such extremes? Earlier in the day, an argument ensued between the couple when Ripple’s wife reminded him that the clothes dryer still needed to be fixed. Ripple later “wrote out his demand note in front of his wife and told her he’d rather be in jail than at home.” However, Ripple didn’t quite get the punishment he was hoping for.

While Ripple pleaded guilty to one count of bank robbery, he told the judge that a multiple bypass heart surgery in 2015 left him depressed and not feeling like himself. Ripple could have been sentenced to a maximum of 37 months in prison, but both the vice president of the bank and the teller supported the request for leniency, given the state of Ripple’s mental health.

On June 13, 2017, Ripple was sentenced to 50 hours of community service, ordered to pay $227.27 to the bank—the billable hours for bank employees sent home on the day of the robbery—and pay $100 to a crime victims fund. Ripple was also sentenced to six months of home confinement—leaving him no choice but to be at home with his wife—and three years of supervised probation.[3]

7 Doctor Dies from Rare Cancer He Was Dedicated to Cure

Curing Clear Cell Sarcoma

Clear cell sarcoma, or CCS, is a type of cancer that grows just under the skin. Although CCS tumors most often occur in the arms, legs, feet, and hands, they can also grow throughout the torso (including the stomach and intestines) and have even been found in the genitals and head. This extremely rare cancer is named because the tumor cells look clear under a microscope. Unfortunately, this also makes the cancer hard to diagnose as the cells resemble malignant melanoma of the soft tissues.

However, Dr. Edward Showler believed that he could make a difference in the lives of his patients with sarcoma through pioneering treatments in the field of medicine. Tragically, in a twist of “cruel irony,” the talented young doctor lost his life to the same rare cancer he was dedicated to curing.

Sholwer’s older brother, Laurie, is an emergency doctor in Australia and was the one who inspired Showler to pursue the field of medicine. Showler studied medicine at St. John’s College Cambridge for six years and graduated in 2013. As a doctor, he went on to work for several hospitals- the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, the Royal Berkshire Hospital in Redding, and University College Hospital in London. As a doctor working in the Sarcoma Unit at University College Hospital, Showler saw first-hand the effects of this fatal disease.

Therefore, in 2016, Showler began training to become a consultant hematologist at the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead, but unfortunately, in September of that year, he was diagnosed with clear cell sarcoma. Knowing that there was no effective treatment for the disease, Showler chose to spend the next eight months making memories for those he was going to leave behind.

Sadly, at just 28 years old, Showler died on June 11, 2017. Showler’s family and friends later established the Edward Showler Foundation to make a difference for young people affected by sarcoma—CCS in particular—by increasing awareness, engaging with patients and families, and supporting research into the rare disease.[4]

6 Former Crime-Fighter Finds Himself on the Wrong Side of the Law

McGruff the Crime Dog Arrested for Pot, Rocket Launcher

In September 2011, John R. Morales was caught driving 50 mph (80 km/h) in a 35 mph (56 km/h) zone and was subsequently pulled over for speeding in Galveston, Texas. However, when the police officer—assisted by a drug-sniffing dog—searched Morales’s Infinity, they discovered diagrams of two indoor pot-growing operations sitting on the front seat and an abundance of marijuana seeds in the trunk.

This discovery led authorities to search Morales’s home, where they seized 1,000 marijuana plants and 9,000 rounds of ammunition for 27 weapons, which included a shotgun, pistols, rifles, and a military grenade launcher.

While Morales’s arrest may not seem to stand out given the abundance of crime-related news that can be found on television, the internet, and social media, what makes this news story ironic is the fact that Morales once played the role of a crime-fighting character named McGruff the Crime Dog—a cartoon bloodhound created in the 1980s for the National Crime Prevention Council. The cartoon figure was used by U.S. police to spread crime awareness and is perhaps best known for the tagline “Take a bite out of crime.”

Although 41-year-old Morales insisted that he was nonviolent and his attorney claimed he had only sold drugs to help sick relatives, on February 6, 2014, Morales was sentenced to 16 years in prison.[5]

5 Reptile Show Focused on “Overcoming Fears” Ends in Death of Snake Expert

Snake charmer bitten by a viper dies from heart attack

Fifty-three-year-old Dieter Zorn—a herpetologist and co-host of the Reptile Show—had worked with reptiles for 25 years. His goal in life was to help people conquer their fears about snakes and reptiles. In fact, Zorn’s Reptile Show invited audience members, both young and old, to handle a variety of creatures such as snakes, crocodiles, scorpions, and spiders to become more comfortable with them. Unfortunately, in an attempt to help others overcome their phobias, the German snake expert would ultimately die at the hands of the very creatures he urged others not to be afraid of.

Zorn and his colleague, Uschi Kallus, had been traveling to different villages across the region of southern France. However, as Zorn was performing his show in Faugeres on June 18, 2013, he was bitten several times by an Aspic viper—a highly venomous snake native to France, Switzerland, Italy, and Spain. Despite being bitten, Zorn got the snake back into a cage, preventing it from attacking members of the audience.

Emergency services arrived on the scene and administered a blood thinner, but unfortunately, they were unable to save Zorn. The viper bite caused Zorn to suffer an “extremely rare allergic reaction,” which ultimately led to a heart attack.[6]

4 Suicide Prevention Advocate Tragically Takes His Own Life

Idaho Suicide Prevention Hotline

Peter Wollheim of Boise, Idaho, was described as “a man of enormous heart who would have been there for anybody at any time if they were struggling.” Unfortunately, despite Wollheim dedicating years of his life to helping others in need, in the end, he was unable to conquer his own demons. He did what he’d passionately urged others not to do—take their own life.

Wollheim taught in the Department of Communication at Boise State University from 1989 to 2012, retiring from teaching to pursue a career as a mental health counselor. Wollheim went on to serve as the co-chairman of the Idaho Commission on Suicide Prevention, helped co-found the Idaho Suicide Prevention Action Network (SPAN)—a non-profit dedicated to suicide prevention and survivor support—managed a local suicide prevention hotline for 15 years, presented at national and international suicide conferences, and established the nation’s first certified crisis worker preparation program on the Boise State University campus.

However, in light of all the outreach work Wollheim did, his sister, Ruth Wachter-Carroll, stated that Wollheim had been depressed for years but never sought professional help. Additionally, Wollheim began having bad dreams about the Holocaust and its effects on his Jewish parents—Norbert and Frieda Wollheim—who had survived the Nazi death camps in Auschwitz and Bergen-Belsen, leading him to believe there was no way out and do the unthinkable.

On July 21, 2015, 67-year-old Wollheim was found in his home by a friend, several days after his death, with a note that said “he was tired of having Holocaust dreams” and that “he was done with life.”[7]

3 Heart Attack Comes “Out of Nowhere”

Warne Marsh Live In San Francisco 1987 – part 1

Born in Los Angeles, California, on October 26, 1927, Warne Marsh came from quite a talented family—his father, Oliver Marsh, was a cinematographer, his mother, Elizabeth, was a violinist, and his aunt, Mae Marsh, was an actress. With that in mind, it’s no wonder that Marsh would go on to find a love of music and performing.

Marsh played in a band called Teenagers, which performed on Hoagy Carmichael’s musical radio show in 1945 and then went on to serve in the U.S. Army in 1946.

Then, in 1948, Marsh became a student of Lennie Tristano, who was a blind American jazz pianist, a major figure of the “Cool School” jazz style, and an influential teacher of jazz improvisation. Tristano was the principal influence on Marsh’s art as a tenor saxophonist and jazz musician, and the two played together from 1949 to 1952.

Marsh went on to play with other students of Tristano, such as Lee Konitz and Ted Brown, in addition to leading his own small musical groups and teaching. However, Marsh gained even more exposure in the 1970s as a member of Supersax—a saxophone-centered ensemble (Link 40) that played orchestral arrangements of Charlie Parker solos. He later recorded albums such as Jazz of Two Cities, Quartet, and Warne Marsh under his own name.

Unfortunately, on the night of December 17, 1987, as 60-year-old Marsh was in the middle of playing the tune “Out of Nowhere” at Donte’s club in Los Angeles, he slipped off his stool and collapsed. Marsh was taken to St. Joseph Medical Center in Burbank and pronounced dead in the early hours of December 18, 1987, after suffering a heart attack.[8]

2 Drunk Driver Had Warning Against Drunk Driving on Car

Around 4 a.m. on February 24, 2019, officers spotted a dark-colored sedan weaving across three lanes of traffic in Berkeley, California. The unnamed male driver was stopped by the California Highway Patrol and found to be well over the legal blood-alcohol limit of 0.08 percent.

While driving under the influence is certainly no laughing matter, what makes this news story ironic is that the car featured a sign sponsored by the National Highway Traffic Administration that read: “I should probably get a ride home” (with the word “probably” crossed out) and “Buzzed driving is drunk driving.”[9]

1 Man Dies Trying to Set Record for “Buried Alive”

Twenty-four-year-old Janaka Basnayake’s mother, L.D. Leelawathi, stated that from the time her son was young, he enjoyed performing unusual acts. In fact, Leelawathi claimed that Basnayake had even been buried alive on two previous occasions—once for two and a half hours and once for six hours. Basnayake was, however, apparently unimpressed with his prior feats and decided on a third daredevil attempt to break a world record for spending the longest time being buried alive. Unfortunately, it would lead to his demise.

With the help of family and friends, Basnayake was buried underground around 9:30 a.m. on March 3, 2012, in a 10-foot (3-meter) trench sealed with wood and soil in the town of Kantale, which is approximately 137 miles (220 km) north of Sri Lanka’s capital, Colombo. At 4 p.m., six and a half hours after he was buried, Basnayake was pulled to the surface but found unconscious. He was taken to a hospital and pronounced dead on arrival, although no official cause of death was given.

Following the news of Basnayake’s death, the Guinness World Records issued a statement on March 5, 2012, which offered condolences to Basnayake’s family but also stated that “record attempts related to being buried alive are not authorized, monitored, or adjudicated by Guinness World Records.”[10]

fact checked by
Darci Heikkinen

>>> Read full article>>>
Copyright for syndicated content belongs to the linked Source : Listverse – https://listverse.com/2024/07/13/10-ironic-news-stories-straight-out-of-an-alanis-morissette-song/

Exit mobile version