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When it was announced that Aaron Rodgers was going to hyping up ayahuasca at a Colorado psychedelics conference, you knew that things were going to be a little weird — but even then, I didn’t think ol’ No. 12 was going to start dabbling in witchcraft.
It all started with Rodgers hyping up why ayahuasca and similar substances should be legalized. The thing is: He’s not entirely wrong on this one. Preliminary studies have shown that psychotropic substances can have a profound effect on treating a variety of mental illnesses, and while much research is still in its infancy and needs years of testing and peer review, there is some promise there.
That said, Rodgers decided to credit taking ayahuasca as a performance enhancing drug which turned him from mild-mannered quarterback into all-consuming NFL god.
“It’s gonna be hard to cancel me,” he said of his initial ayahuasca experience. “Because previous year, 26 touchdowns, 4 interceptions, we had a good season. Ayahuasca, 46 touchdowns, five interceptions, MVP.”
Rodgers said more, a whole lot more — so let’s just convey the mood of his quotes into I Think You Should Leave memes.
“You know, words are so interesting. They have such power in their spells. There’s a reason it’s called ‘spelling,’ because the way that the letters are put together have such power.”
The words are their power. So are the spells. I mean, the words are their spelling.
“Success in life was holding the Lombardi Trophy. Now I’ve done it. Now what? Now what’s the purpose of all this?”
“I guarantee you all these bums who want to come after me online about my experience and stuff, they’ve never tried it. They’re the perfect people for it. We need to get these people taking it.”
They charge more because the patterns are so complicated. Only an idiot wouldn’t understand that.
“Is it not ironic that the things that actually expand your mind are illegal and the things that . . . dumb you down have been legal for centuries?”
In the end this whole conference was vaguely about true science, and a lot more about people sitting in a room trying to work out how to turn the potential legalization of substances into money. So really, everyone was:
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