England were beaten by a 90th-minute strike from substitute Renate Jansen.
Alessia Russo had earlier cancelled out Lieke Martens’ first-half opener, during which Danielle van de Donk appeared to be in an offside position in the build-up.
But the lineswoman did not raise her flag and VAR was not available as it is not mandatory during the group stage and the hosts of each game decide whether to use it or not.
“There is no consistency,” said England captain Bright.
“It is always frustrating [to not have VAR]. I think we push the level of the game to be so high and professional, yet we sometimes have VAR, sometimes don’t, sometimes have goal-line technology…
“By no means is that an excuse. We put ourselves in that position – not clearing the ball, not getting out of pressure. But yeah, they are the differences in games as well and it is really unfortunate that these are still huge decisions that are incorrect.
“That’s where we as players have to keep speaking about it, we have to step up, we have to demand better and demand more. This is international football and we do not have VAR in a competitive international game, which is mind-blowing.”
England manager Sarina Wiegman told ITV Sport it was “so obvious” that the first Dutch goal was offside.
“I think the whole stadium thought it was offside so I’m really disappointed about that,” said Wiegman.
“When you talk about VAR, of course it would have taken away that goal. I think we need consistency in VAR. Either you have VAR or you don’t have VAR.”
The result leaves England third in their four-team Nations League group with three points from two games.
They must win the group for a chance to secure Team GB’s spot at the 2024 Olympic Games.
“We are competing to go to an Olympics here, yet things like that are the difference,” midfielder Georgia Stanway said.
“There is not much you can say apart from there is still work to be done in the women’s game and for VAR to be at every single game.
“She was basically stood next to Mary [Earps, England’s goalkeeper].
“People at home can see straight away on the TV what is going on. We could see it [on the big screen] as soon as they had scored. So surely the referee can look up and see the big screen as well?
“But she has made the decision, so we have got to play and obviously we played to get the 1-1, and we were unfortunate towards the end of the game where we just need a little bit more game management.”
It was only the third defeat Wiegman has suffered since taking charge over the Lionesses.
“[The defeat] was hard to take especially because it was so unnecessary. We really gave it away in the last few minutes. That’s the most disappointing thing,” added Wiegman.
“I think there were two halves. In the first half we didn’t get the press we wanted. They had their strengths and were on the ball all the time. They didn’t create many chances but there was some dangerous moments.
“The second half I think we dominated the game. They had to go back and didn’t create the press they wanted to. We scored a good goal and of course I hoped we would score a little bit more. Then in the last seconds we gave it away.”
England next play group leaders Belgium on October 27.
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