Only one name should top every single list of predicted 2024 men’s Royal Rumble winners until the event itself.
Everyone has CM Punk to thank, of course.
Punk is back in WWE, and he’s the only winner who actually makes perfect sense, no matter how predictable it might be.
On its own, the story is just too good to pass up. Punk returning to WWE after all these years to win the entire rumble and finally get that main event at WrestleMania is just one of those things that can’t not happen.
But it’s the way the result solves so many problems for WWE’s main event scene that really pushes things over the edge.
Because before Punk’s return, Seth Rollins was going to what, possibly main-event Night 1 of ‘Mania? Likely against another borderline main-eventer in the LA Knight range after already taking down the likes of Shinsuke Nakamura and others.
But now? The story is a layup—Rollins hates Punk, who has continued to take veiled shots at him in promos (the not even the man of his own house reference on the December 8 edition of SmackDown is one of many already). So the babyface champion isn’t going to give Punk a shot at the title, instead giving it to full-time Superstars he deems worthy, even taking an anyone-but-Punk stance about ‘Mania.
Until Punk wins the rumble.
Now, fans might proclaim that anyone winning the rumble must challenge Roman Reigns for the Undisputed Universal title to outright headline ‘Mania on Night 2 and possibly end The Bloodline and one of the most prestigious title runs ever.
But if there’s one Superstar who could win the rumble and say nah to that, we all know it’s Punk. He’s the only one who could believably provide reasons for doing so and having it make sense. It certainly helps that there’s so much “bad blood” stewing with Rollins, considering the storyline can work in real-life interviews from during Punk’s pro wrestling hiatus, never mind the fact Punk had a hand in formulating Rollins’ The Shield all those years ago.
Think about how fun it would be to see the weekly programming while Punk ponders the decision. Paul Heyman would be working overtime in an effort to influence it. The Bloodline might go after Punk. Rollins would be all riled up at the teases. Reigns himself, at the sheer audacity of not knowing his ‘Mania opponent—and even moreso when he’s turned down for someone else—would create an amazing fallout. If recent weekly programming has been fantastic with Punk, just wait for this chef’s-kiss scenario.
This would actually clean up the situation around Reigns, too. If we work under the assumption The Rock isn’t walking through that door, he’s obviously getting Cody Rhodes again.
Punk makes this simple. Rather than Rhodes winning the rumble yet again, he stays in chase mode for longer than usual, only just earning the right to a rematch with Reigns at Elimination Chamber, instead. Boom—Punk-Rollins on Night 1, Rhodes-Reigns the next. A small bonus point to WWE, too, for taking two ex-AEWers and getting them in both main events.
Admittedly, this would shove aside other worthy things. Seeing say, Gunther lose a title but win the rumble would be wild (let’s get him in a feud with Brock Lesnar though, please). It blocks the way for a potential up-and-comer to make a splash. Pretty much anything fans can fantasy book, it blocks.
Those things can wait, though. So much about fantastic pro wrestling is timing. The time is now for this personal Rollins-Punk feud to happen. The champion needs it to save a run fans have soured on and he’d be beloved again for ultimately being right about the corporate-ish, money-making heel that is Punk.
This isn’t even saying Punk needs to win at ‘Mania. He probably should, just for the all-timer of a moment it would be to see him finally get that closing shot at the event. But he’d quickly move on to the laundry list of other things that must be done, like encounters with Reigns and Heyman, maybe a nostalgia-fueled feud with John Cena, the possibilities feel straight-up endless, which is why that recent SmackDown worked so hard to get him in as many segments as possible with other main-eventers.
As always, a predictable outcome doesn’t have to be a bad thing in pro wrestling. Punk winning the rumble could be one of the best examples of it literally ever, considering how easy it makes formulating the top end of a downright stacked projected ‘Mania card.
The fact this never-thought-possible discussion is even under consideration is just more proof it needs to happen. Punk is the 2024 rumble winner, by almost every conceivable consideration of what just makes great pro wrestling tick.
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