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By C. Gordon/Dec. 26, 2023 5:15 pm EST
Seeing a “Clean Me” written on dust on your car is a sign it probably needs a wash, but when you somehow see another “Clean Me” on the inside of your car, it’s time for a complete overhaul. Letting a vehicle get dirty inside and out is natural, because you don’t live there. This isn’t a living room, it’s a tool we hop in and out of on the way to living rooms, and we tend not to notice the swirl of garbage left behind upon exiting.
The little things dropped on the floor or backseat while driving usually build over time until they spill out when you open the door on a date. To prevent this or having to drive your car into the lake because it’s so dirty inside and out, here are a few quick cleaning steps and tips to make part of a weekly routine, so cleaning your car doesn’t end up requiring a sabbatical from work.
Get a portable trash can
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This sounds like something your parents would say, but it rarely occurs to people to keep one in the car. Trash like bottles, windshield flyers, and that crumpled burger wrapper are often thrown in every direction under the mistaken assumption that we’ll pick it up later. We won’t. It will stay unnoticed for ages, even though you can clearly hear it wobbling around while taking turns. “That’s probably the muffler,” you tell yourself.
We don’t throw things on the floor at home (for the most part), so why do this to our poor vehicle? A tiny can placed on your back seat floor is a lifesaver. There are purpose-made automotive trashcans available through places like Amazon, but you can also simply use a trash bag stored in the back seat or a small plastic bin. Now that candy bar wrapper has a home to go to, and you can easily empty it at any gas station while filling up. Your floor pads will thank you.
Clean that spill now, not later
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The car is among the most popular dining destinations in the country. The ambiance may be terrible, but the convenience is undeniable. Here’s the problem: cars tend not to have tables, so any food that misses your mouth ends up falling on the upholstery, or maybe you go to put that 80 oz Coke in the cup holder and miss, spilling everywhere. The windshield wipers unfortunately only cover the outside of the vehicle.
Because we’re on the road, we figure we’ll get it later. Do it now. A spill or fallen piece of food will only get harder to clean over time, begin to stain whatever it landed on, and eventually, smell. No one wants to be the guy with a smelly car. Be late to wherever you’re going and clean it up, placing any garbage in that little trash can you’ve hopefully invested in to keep things tidy.
But there’s nothing to clean with
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It’s hard to clean a spill with your owner’s manual, so stock your car like it’s that cleaning supplies cabinet in the kitchen. Paper towels, cleaning wipes, a portable vacuum, air freshener — these are the weapons in your car cleaning arsenal that’ll keep that baby spotless. They may all seem a bit unnecessary, but in the same way that everyone thinks they’re a good driver, they also tend to think the car’s cleaner than it is.
Why would you need a portable vacuum, for instance? Because you turned too quickly with that box of powdered donuts on the front seat. Store them all in an easily accessible little basket on your backseat floor or trunk and you’ll always be reminded to get to food misfires immediately. Sure, it’s not the coolest-looking thing to have in car, but neither is dirt. And this way when you’re on a date or giving someone a ride, you don’t have to panic clean at the last second.
Set a reminder to wash it
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Your car needs a shower once in a while like everyone else; it helps protect the paint job and keep that bird poop from becoming a permanent art installation. Whether monthly or quarterly, create a reminder on your phone to wash and vacuum it. This could involve heading to an automatic touchless car wash that splits the vehicle in two, or cleaning it at home with the hose while your neighbors laugh.
What’s best is to do the whole shebang at once: take the floor pads out, empty the glove box, and even dare to clean under the seats, where unimaginable horrors typically reside. You will find things there that seemed lost to time, like gloves belonging to an ex, old discontinued McDonald’s toys, and that receipt from Best Buy you really, really needed two years ago. It’s an exhausting process and you’ll need a shower afterward as well, but it’s totally worth it until having to do it again next week.
Don’t forget the trunk
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So many things go in trunks to never be seen again. It’s probably the most convenient and removed storage space in existence. Garbage, forgotten purchases, discarded clothing, trash bags you didn’t take to the dump — they all merge together during turns on the road until molding into one giant mound of refuse that requires the jaws of life for removal. And it’s usually the case that the things you actually need at the moment — motor oil, tire chains, windshield cleaner, jumper cables — are buried under all the useless excess.
Trunks can get so bad that when you drive someone to the airport, you have to put their luggage in the backseat. If they try to open the trunk and look inside, you tackle them. To avoid this, set out a day, weekend, or year to deal with that abyss, and tell your family you love them before diving in. It may take several attempts, but when you finally see the trunk liner for the first time in years, it’ll be worth it.
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