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    Billy Bob Thornton says Hollywood told him he ‘wasn’t southern enough’: ‘I am just off the turnip truck’ – Yahoo

    Billy Bob Thornton says Hollywood told him he ‘wasn’t southern enough’: ‘I am just off the turnip truck’ – Yahoo

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16 People Who’ll Make You Laugh and Facepalm at the Same Time

May 13, 2024
in Entertainment
16 People Who’ll Make You Laugh and Facepalm at the Same Time
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Laughter plays a significant role in our lives, bringing joy and lightness to our days. It’s truly wonderful when someone has the ability to make others laugh effortlessly, whether through a clever phrase or a funny action. However, there are moments when what’s intended to be humorous leaves us more puzzled than amused, creating a sense of confusion rather than laughter.

“My husband was tinkering with the car in the garage on his day off, so I decided to bring him lunch right there. When I walked in, it was such a mess! It was impossible to take a step without stepping on something. He also asked me to give him a box of tools, but I had no idea where it was.
I thought to myself, ‘Any devil would break their leg in here!’ Just then, my husband angrily approached, picked up a box from the floor, and said, ‘Don’t make a fuss, Vera. My garage is in perfect order. I always know where everything is.’”“For about 10 years a man would call my home, ask for me, and then ask me if my feet were ticklish. This was 30 or so years ago — no caller ID or anything like that. I would engage him if my family was home. If I said my feet were ticklish, he’d ask me to ask the person sitting closest to me to tickle them. He always hung up before we could ask questions to figure him out.
Sometimes he’d get me on a pay phone. Like, I’d be walking home from school and a pay phone would ring. It was always him. Still don’t know who it was.” myeggsarebig / Reddit

“As I walked down the street, struggling with heavy bags of groceries in my hands, an unfamiliar boy of about six ran up to me and asked, ‘Hello, weren’t you the one who starred in the movie about zombies?’ I chuckled, explaining that he must have mistaken me for some Hollywood actress, and continued on my way. It wasn’t until I got home and looked at myself in the mirror that I realized why the boy had asked that question. With the lack of sleep and stress I’d been dealing with, I really did look like a zombie.”“-15 minutes after our baby is cut out of my body-
‘So how many chompers do we have, little guy?!’
My SO legitimately thought ALL babies were born with a full mouth….” Unknown author / Reddit

“I love the innocence of children. My daughter is four, and she comes out with some utter gems.
Talking to my pregnant sister-in-law:
D: ‘Why is your belly so big?’
SIL: ‘Because I have a baby in my belly.’
D: *gasp* ‘You ATE your baby!?’” MysteriousSpirit5354 / Reddit“I had a 6-year-old student ask me what it was like living in the world when it was black and white. I wasn’t sure what she meant. She thought as old movies were in black and white, that’s what the world was like, and then it became color.” RelationIll9965 / Reddit“I worked a shift with an older gal, early 50s or so, really sweet, but she had a good sense of humor. She was driving while we were responding to a call, stuck behind a guy going 5 under the limit as we’re coming up to our turn, and she says ‘If you go any slower, I’m going to hit menopause.’” MadMints / Reddit

“The first time we gave our newborn son a bath at home, my husband said: ‘Oh, we should use the soap we got from the hospital!’ I was confused as I didn’t recall getting soap.
He goes into the bag and pulls out a freaking surgical scrub brush they use to wash their hands before performing surgery. I don’t know how or where he got that from, but I was dying. So glad I was there so he didn’t rub our son’s skin off.” Similar-Mango-8372 / Reddit“There’s a scandalous grandmother who lives in our building. She seems to dislike everyone and is always bothered by something, constantly quarreling with everyone. I’ve stopped communicating with her altogether, just to avoid getting involved in her drama.
One day, my son and his friends were playing and making noise as children do. Grandma opened her door and tried to shoo them away, saying something about not wanting to see them there. My son, standing tall with his hands on his hips, boldly replied, ‘Well, you’ll have to see me because this is my entrance!’ The grandmother was taken aback and couldn’t come up with a response, so she silently and angrily retreated into her apartment.”

“I asked my husband to do the house chores. When I returned from work, my home was in disarray—things scattered around, laundry untouched, and dust still lingering. I angrily questioned why he had taken an unexpected day off without even bothering to tidy up or pack his things.
In response, my husband looked at me with a ‘childish’ expression and said, ‘I wanted to, but Harry Potter was on TV. You understand.’ It’s amusing how, at 32 years old, he still holds onto the hope of receiving a letter from Hogwarts and imagines Dobby taking care of his socks for him.”“I finished helping my daughter (3) go to the bathroom, and she proceeded to say:
‘You wipe the poop first, and then I wipe the pee, and that’s teamwork!’
I was dying of laughter.” snoman298 / Reddit“One night, I woke up to go to the toilet. When I returned, I found my husband already on my side of the bed. Since I take sleeping space seriously and prefer to stay at the edge, I gently tried to wake him up and asked him to move over. He shifted, but only by about five centimeters.
I asked again, and he moved a couple of centimeters more. ‘Could you move over a bit more?’ I whispered. That’s when my husband suddenly jumped up, indignantly yelling, ‘Are there 20 of you here or what?’”

“I’m sitting in the kitchen, enjoying my tea, munching on cookies, and reading a book. My husband walks in, grabs a stool, and plops down in front of the refrigerator. He opens it and ponders aloud, ‘Hmm… What ingredients should I use for a salad?’
After a rigorous five-minute thought process, my ‘chef’ pulls out eggs, fish, meat, mayonnaise, and crab sticks. He tosses everything into a bowl and starts eating it with bread. I inquire about the absence of vegetables and herbs in this ‘salad,’ to which he responds, ‘Well, I need my meat.’”“Our daughter just figured out how to open doorknobs. Woke up at 3am to find her standing in our room.
Me: Hey sweetie. Do you need something?
Kid: I don’t like when I get peanut butter on my hands.
Me: Ok…
Her: It’s sticky
Me: Ok…
(She turns and walks out of our room, down the hall, back into her room, and climbs into her bed).” HoopOnPoop / Reddit

“4yo: ‘I spy with my little eye something that is cute.’
Me: ‘Is it me?!’
Her: ‘It’s something CUTE.’” belbivfreeordie / Reddit“At a Mexican restaurant on Sunday, they sing happy birthday to a lady at the next table turning 90. My 5-year-old says loudly, ‘90? That’s so old! How is she even still alive?’” Sdmid227 / Reddit

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