Trust between a couple is crucial, and people may go to great lengths to confirm their spouse’s trustworthiness, not just regarding infidelity, but trust overall. In this Reddit post, a woman felt undermined upon discovering that her husband doubted her capabilities as a wife by covertly installing a surveillance camera in their household.
She wrote:
“It’s been about a month since I (46F) found out my husband (47M) had secretly installed a camera in our house. So, as I was doing some cleaning, I found a small disguised camera hidden inside what looked like a charging block stuck in a living room outlet. After confronting my husband, he admitted to placing it there to monitor me. We have 3 kids (16F, 14M, 12F) who all have a bunch of chargers and such, so I did not suspect what that small device was earlier.”
She added:
“Seems that it all started after a situation where my 12YO needed a permission slip signed and forms filled out in order to go on a class trip. I admit that things happened, and we missed the submission deadline. I had made a note to fill out the forms on another day, since it was a task I needed to be 100% focused on. But it became the start of a new month, and that’s when I do most of the shopping and tracking of household bills/subscriptions.
I do daily cleaning, but we use a service for deep cleaning/landscaping that I had to supervise. Long story short, my 16YO calls my husband after picking up her sister, saying she was crying because she can’t go on her trip. My husband drives to the school to beg them to let him fill the forms out in the office. Thankfully, they let him since it was the same day. I apologized profusely.”
She went on explaining:
“My husband, who is self-employed as a HVAC technician, laid into me about how he has so many calls a day, but still handles the administrative aspect of his job — communications and bookkeeping. I yelled back, because his work is concentrated, while my work at home has a bunch of moving parts and emotional labor as well, and I do it all behind the scenes. He digs his heels in about how I wasn’t as busy and needed to do ’easy’ things better.
The point my husband was trying to ’prove’ with the help of the camera was that I’m lazy and worthless, and that my administrative skills are not up to the Super Stay-at-Home Mom standards he, as a ’high earner,’ deserves. I kicked him out of the house since learning about the camera, and ended up seeing an attorney and just filed for divorce, because I feel violated and devalued.”
Other Redditors didn’t sympathize with the woman; instead, they all rallied to the husband’s defense, leaving comments such as:
I have a weekly cleaner too, and I definitely don’t spend my time “supervising”. We have 15 minutes for a cup of tea and some gossip, and then she does her thing, which she is the expert in, which is why I pay her. © katie-kaboom / RedditWas he at the end of his rope with trying to get you to realize you have an organizational problem, or was this the first instance of you making a mistake? Too many variables, but it sounds like he needed proof, because you don’t listen to his concerns.
I think marriage counseling should have been the first step, but I also believe that if you are at the point of divorcing, then maybe it doesn’t matter why you are there. The fact you are there is enough proof to show the marriage isn’t working. Just don’t try to blame him later on, if your life post divorce isn’t better. You made this decision. © l3ex_G / RedditA SAHM with three school-aged children, and the teenager is picking up the younger ones from school. Also has cleaners and landscapers. Then, what is a SAHM doing exactly, if there’s no kids or cleaning to do?! © Hudre / Reddit
I was a SAHM for a long while, and even now that I’m back to work, my kids and their schools call/text me first and not my husband. Not to mention that as a SAHM, I would’ve never dreamed of having my husband take time away from his work to go run to the school to deal with paperwork or the likes. That’s part of my responsibility to begin with. © MassiveAffect9 / RedditI really want to be on your side, because I would also file for divorce if I found a hidden camera… But you supervise the house cleaner and the landscapers… And this is a full-time job?
You have to schedule time to fill out a form? What kind of questions are the teachers asking here? What exactly do you do all day? © h***brownies / RedditYour 16-year-old does the school pickups for the younger kids! From this, I would imagine the oldest also does the morning drop-offs. I can completely feel the working partner’s frustration.
If you can’t trust your spouse to be pulling their weight, it makes you nervous all the time. What else is slipping through? Loss of confidence in your spouse is hard to come back from. © Inevitable_Damage992 / Reddit
In fact, surveillance cameras offer a proactive approach to addressing and mitigating various challenges. In this story, a woman installed a camera to keep an eye on her mother-in-law while she looked after her child. What she found out was alarming.
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